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#2979381 - 03/08/19 09:09 PM Don't try this at home . . .
Winston Psmith Offline
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Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
I was asked to play at a friend's b'day party, so I spent part of my week getting my gear and my sound banks all in order, to be ready. I got there early to set up, and had all my gear in order, on time. My friend had also invited a young band to play, so I moved my gear out of the way for them to set up, lent them my power strip & extension cord, and let them set up. They took even longer than I had expected, by a good bit.

By the time they were done with their set-up, people were waiting to hear some Music, so they did their set, as all of my gear was pushed aside, and they were plugged into my power strip. By the time they were done, people were pretty much ready to leave, so yes, you guessed it, I just packed up my gear and left with everyone else. No idea why I needed to be there . . .

FWIW, I don't blame the young guys in the band. The hostess had no plan, there was no one organizing anything, and when I saw these guys hauling in enough gear for a club date, I knew it was going to take them a good long time to get ready. I didn't see the point in trying to play while someone was assembling a full band rig around me - distracting, to say the least - and I didn't see the point in pulling out my gear to set up for people who were busy saying "goodnight", and heading out the door.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't ever need another invitation like that again. Thanks for listening, I just had to f@cking complain.
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#2979382 - 03/08/19 09:24 PM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5830
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
I hope you ate your body weight in f@cking food.
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#2979384 - 03/08/19 09:58 PM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
Originally Posted By: Dannyalcatraz
I hope you ate your body weight in f@cking food.


Not even, brother. Ate half a cupcake that was too sweet even for this sugar fiend. Had two short drinks and two sodas, that was my night. If I'd stayed home and made a sandwich, I'd have had a better night with less effort and aggravation.
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#2979387 - 03/08/19 10:34 PM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
Caevan O'Shite Offline
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rolleyes I'm sorry that you received that kind of treatment, my friend. And I can relate... !
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#2979403 - 03/09/19 04:29 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Caevan O'Shite]
whitefang Offline
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Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11666
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
idk
By "soda" I'm guessing you mean either a glass, bottle or can of carbonated soft drink. What we in my "neck-a" call "pop". wink

In these parts, a "soda" is a tall glass of pop with a scoop of ice cream dropped in it. wink Anyway....

BAD move on the part of the hostess. I guess I'd never consider performing at any other functions that person would have, and no matter HOW nicely they asked. But then, how much they'd offer to PAY, and in ADVANCE might hold some sway. wink grin
Whitefang
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#2979414 - 03/09/19 06:14 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: whitefang]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
Originally Posted By: whitefang
idk
By "soda" I'm guessing you mean either a glass, bottle or can of carbonated soft drink. What we in my "neck-a" call "pop". wink

In these parts, a "soda" is a tall glass of pop with a scoop of ice cream dropped in it. wink Anyway.... Whitefang


Thanks for that, Whitefang. I remember that being called a "float" when I was a kid? Regional differences . . .

Originally, my friend had offered to pay, back when the party first came up, and I said "No", because I know she doesn't have money to spend hiring Musicians. My performance was supposed to be my present for her, but obviously, that wasn't a priority for anyone else. Don't know if the young guys got paid anything, but that's not my issue.

For me, it's really about having my time wasted, period. I play a lot of shows just for the sake of getting out to play with people and for people; last night, I didn't get to do either.
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"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

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#2979422 - 03/09/19 07:08 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
Larryz Offline
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Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 12009
Loc: Northern California
Brother Winston, It was one of those times when you looked forward to having some fun and entertaining people and it just didn't go as planned. You still showed up on time and was ready to go and give it your best. It will stay in your memory banks but don't let it be anything more than just be an experience you once had. When you talk to your friend just tell her you were sorry you didn't get to play as that was a present you wanted to give her. She'll understand that trying to play while another band is setting up doesn't work. The other band should have set up on time, take their turn after letting you play, then borrow your strip and fire up.

I've shown up to parties, open mics and jams ready to play that didn't work out for some reason. I remember them but then I don't dwell on them. I do learn from them though and try to avoid repeats! One nice thing about playing for free, is you don't have to worry about hitting a few clams or making any excuses for whatever does not work out perfectly or if you can't stay till the party is over...just get ready to have fun next time!

ps. We call it a float too LOL! I always call it a coke even if it's a Pepsi...I bring my own Coke Zero Cherry and my own beer too! cool



Edited by Larryz (03/09/19 07:09 AM)
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#2979431 - 03/09/19 08:38 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Larryz]
Winston Psmith Offline
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Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
@Larryz - thanks for that, brother, but to be honest, I have no intention of ever talking with that person again, period. "Fool me once . . ." as the old saying has it.

Her brother is one of my oldest and dearest friends; we've known one another for just about 40 years, and I'd signed on for this as much to see him as for any other reason.

I approach every gig as if I'd been asked to play at the Kennedy Center for big $$$, regardless Professionalism is an attitude, not just getting paid to show up. I select the gear I'm going to use based on the time allotted, the space I'm working in, and whether I need to be able to set up and break down quickly so other acts can set up. My set list comes after all that, once I've decided what I'm working with. I once watched another performer use up 20 minutes of his half-hour time slot, just plugging in his Synth rig, and wondered what in hell he was thinking?

I'd originally been asked to play for forty minutes, so I spent time making sure I had forty minutes worth of Music ready to present. Even if it's a free gig at a friend's party, to me, that's no excuse to slack off and waste everyone's time, when folks want to hear Music. If I'd been a jerk, and insisted on doing a 40-minute set before the other guys even set up, I'd have cut off easily half of their set list, or pushed them into playing much later than anyone wanted to stay, neither of which would have been a good move.

Okay, enough, I'm done. Thanks again for putting up with me.
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"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

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#2979435 - 03/09/19 08:58 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
Larryz Offline
10k Club

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 12009
Loc: Northern California
I love putting up with and learning from your situation(s) Brother Winston, and you have the right professional attitude IMHO. thu
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#2979436 - 03/09/19 09:10 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Larryz]
d / halfnote Offline
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Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7665
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
from what I know yer a very reasonable cat.
& I'm sure there must have been/is some more than casual connection w/ yer, uh, host(ess) at the affair, lest y'wouldn't have bothered.
Hope that can be salvaged rather than savaged
but, if not,
remember that sometimes is not forever & nothing lasts til then, anyway.

It's always a drag to get stuck in a situation where you get chumped, even if unintentionally, but why was it that you, already set up, didn't just go ahead & play ? idk
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#2979441 - 03/09/19 09:30 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: d / halfnote]
DocPate Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 01/11/16
Posts: 981
Loc: Virginia
Great attitude. Don't know how I would have handled that situation. But you, my friend, did the noble and right thing.

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#2979452 - 03/09/19 10:39 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: d / halfnote]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
Originally Posted By: d
It's always a drag to get stuck in a situation where you get chumped, even if unintentionally, but why was it that you, already set up, didn't just go ahead & play ?


Not to drag this on, but this question merits an answer, even if I wind up referring back to myself . . .

The shortest answer is that I was trying to help, rather than hinder.

We'd all gotten there well before party time, in order to set up, and they'd gotten there first, although they weren't well organized. Not only was space limited, but there was exactly one 3-prong outlet to spare next to the stage area; all the others were taken up with party lights. I'd already plugged in my extension cord and power strip, to bring power over to the stage area, while they were still moving gear.

There were no guests when I'd set up; it was still very early, say a little after 8, and I could see the band humping in even more gear. Since I could see they had a lot of work to do to be ready, I got out of the way, expecting to just throw my gear back out when they were done with their set. It takes me 5 minutes or so to set up my compact rig, and with my hand cart, it takes me no time nor effort to move it. Again, there were no guests to play for yet, and I could see that these guys needed the space.

It took them until about 9:40 to be ready, when the party was supposed to start at 9, and by then the guests wanted to hear Music. They were maybe halfway through their set when I realized that it was going to be much too late for me to start, once they'd finished; I'd seen their set list, so I knew where they were in the line-up.

Sure, I was ready before they were, but keeping them from getting ready would have been an asshole move, serving no one. With nearly an hour of dead time before the party, I wasn't going to make them just stand around and wait. If I'd started a 40-minute set at 9 o'clock, they would have started setting up at 9:45 at the earliest, which would have meant them starting to play at around 10:20? Same situation in reverse, not enough time for everyone. It wasn't their fault that there was no plan and no timeline, although they really could have had their own set-up routine more in order. The guests enjoyed their set, and I'm sure no one missed hearing me, so . . .
_________________________
"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com

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#2979453 - 03/09/19 10:41 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Larryz]
d / halfnote Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7665
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
Originally Posted By: Larryz
... take their turn after letting you play, then borrow your strip and fire up...

roll
-----------------------------------------------
More seriously, I fully understand the annoyance of the situation &, if that person who invited you hasn't made an effort to apologize, I guess you valued them more than they, you...so if that's all in the rear-view, so be it.

Maybe one of these says it...



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#2979685 - 03/11/19 09:58 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3327
Originally Posted By: Winston Psmith
I was asked to play at a friend's b'day party, so I spent part of my week getting my gear and my sound banks all in order, to be ready. I got there early to set up, and had all my gear in order, on time. My friend had also invited a young band to play, so I moved my gear out of the way for them to set up, lent them my power strip & extension cord, and let them set up. They took even longer than I had expected, by a good bit.

By the time they were done with their set-up, people were waiting to hear some Music, so they did their set, as all of my gear was pushed aside, and they were plugged into my power strip. By the time they were done, people were pretty much ready to leave, so yes, you guessed it, I just packed up my gear and left with everyone else. No idea why I needed to be there . . .

FWIW, I don't blame the young guys in the band. The hostess had no plan, there was no one organizing anything, and when I saw these guys hauling in enough gear for a club date, I knew it was going to take them a good long time to get ready. I didn't see the point in trying to play while someone was assembling a full band rig around me - distracting, to say the least - and I didn't see the point in pulling out my gear to set up for people who were busy saying "goodnight", and heading out the door.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't ever need another invitation like that again. Thanks for listening, I just had to f@cking complain.


You should have let them set up and then played in front of their gear, then you would've had a quick teardown and they could do their set for as long as people could hold out. Always insist on going first if you're a solo act.

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#2979797 - 03/12/19 05:29 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: p90jr]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
@p90jr - Good thought, but timing still wouldn't have worked out. It took them much longer than it should have to set up, because they were there to have fun and screw around. I'd have been trying to play with them setting up around me, or pushing the whole party back by nearly an hour. Might have worked out for me, but I felt it would be imposing on the party-goers, as well, who really didn't want to hear me.

As it was, the guests didn't really notice or care that I wasn't playing, and the party went as well as it was going to.

I did come away with one valuable lesson - I am no longer interested in making Music for anyone else's enjoyment nor entertainment: I'm doing it for myself, and if someone wants to listen, fine. If not, you better stand really far back, because I'm weaponizing SPL's.
_________________________
"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com

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#2979807 - 03/12/19 06:33 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5830
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
grin
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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#2979856 - 03/12/19 11:16 AM Re: Don't try this at home . . . [Re: Winston Psmith]
d / halfnote Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7665
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
Originally Posted By: Winston Psmith
I am no longer interested in making Music for anyone else's enjoyment nor entertainment

I suspect y'll drift back a bit, Winston.
Let's face it, not only is communication on of the main points of music but market sustainability is another...
...but do retain the awareness of when yer not properly valued.
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