Michael Wright Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 Quote "I cried when I wrote this song Sue me if I play too long" Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyRude Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 Mama Broom: "We're having a baby!" Papa Broom: "That's impossible, we've never swept together." Quote Some music I've recorded and played over the years with a few different bands Tommy Rude Soundcloud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyRude Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 Just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass. Quote Some music I've recorded and played over the years with a few different bands Tommy Rude Soundcloud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Song80s Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 To err is human, but to REALLY screw up requires social media - Anonymous songwriter on SoundCloud Quote Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ? My Soundcloud with many originals: [70's Songwriter] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Wright Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Quote "I cried when I wrote this song Sue me if I play too long" Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightbg Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Jake Quote 1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP "It needs a Hammond" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Wright Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Jake Quote "I cried when I wrote this song Sue me if I play too long" Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doerfler Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 Jake Jake FTW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Song80s Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 Wal-MArtians ( or for US people] [video:youtube]https://youtu.be/YvxNgdFeWqM Quote Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ? My Soundcloud with many originals: [70's Songwriter] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 http://www.funnybizblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/snowmen-rabbit.jpg Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music Bird Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 There was once a chicken who was having an affair with a rubber chicken. Every time he tried to hug her, she made a loud noise. He said, Cluck it out, will ya?. Pretty weird, right? What did the peacock say to his girlfriend? Do you want to take a peacock at my tailfeathers... Ok, another weird joke. So a normal one, maybe... There was a man named Supafly. Everyone asked him if he was a reincarnation of Isaac Hayes. He said, Nope man, Im just Supafly!. Quote Yamaha MX49, Casio SK1/WK-7600, Korg Minilogue, Alesis SR-16, Casio CT-X3000, FL Studio, many VSTs, percussion, woodwinds, strings, and sound effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr88s Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing his own surgery? "Suture self". Quote Nord Stage 2 Compact, Yamaha MODX8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Nathan Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Quote Don't rush me. I'm playing as slowly as I can! http://www.stevenathanmusic.com/stevenathanmusic.com/HOME.html https://apple.co/2EGpYXK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music Bird Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 One day, there was a guitar player who was dissing banjos. A guy with a straw cowboy hat said Whatre ya pickin on banjos fer?. Quote Yamaha MX49, Casio SK1/WK-7600, Korg Minilogue, Alesis SR-16, Casio CT-X3000, FL Studio, many VSTs, percussion, woodwinds, strings, and sound effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bif_ Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 True story.... A few weeks ago, playing at church, the last song in our set right before a guest was going to address the congregation was a solo vocalist with piano and orchestral accompaniament. (I was doing the orchestral stuff on a Kurzweil Forte.) As we finished, the guest was walking on to the stage and said, "Thank you band, choir and orchestra for providing beautiful music today." Mission accomplished! Quote Kurzweil Forte, Yamaha Motif ES7, Muse Receptor 2 Pro Max, Neo Ventilator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoken6 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 The Post Office receives this mysterious envelope addressed "To the greatest drummer in the world". The employee there happened to know the address for his friend the famous jazz drummer Elvin Jones so he mailed it to him. Elvin saw the address and said No this can't be for me, and he forwarded it to Max Roach. Max couldn't accept that letter was for him. So Max forwarded the letter to his friend Buddy Rich, who was notorious for his narcissism and flamboyant stage presence (as well as his reputation of being very hard to work for). Buddy was very delighted to receive the letter and proceeded to open it with glee. He pulled the letter out of the envelope and began to read out loud "Dear Ringo..." I used this joke for my mic sound-check on Saturday. Thank you MC! Cheers, Mike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthaholic Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy. Quote The fact there's a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers People only say "It's a free country" when they're doing something shitty-Demetri Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 I enjoyed this one: Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Major vs Minor keys: [video:youtube]_dVFknALySA Quote Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Nathan Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Quote Don't rush me. I'm playing as slowly as I can! http://www.stevenathanmusic.com/stevenathanmusic.com/HOME.html https://apple.co/2EGpYXK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real MC Posted December 11, 2019 Share Posted December 11, 2019 You can't take me anywhere... True story: years ago I was hanging out with friends in a bar. I don't drink, so when the bartender came around for drink orders I asked for a mixed drink: two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. She responded with deer in the headlights. "H20... Water...?" This was years before the scare over dihydrogen monoxide... Another true story: waitress at a restaurant asked for our drink orders. Mom: decaf coffee Brother: Coke Dad: Diet Coke Me: Diet water Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KuruPrionz Posted December 11, 2019 Share Posted December 11, 2019 There was a gentleman who took a cruise ship tour of the Southern Pacific Isles. A huge storm came, waves were cresting over the top of the ship. The ship capsized and the gentleman found himself along on a life raft. Eventually the weather cleared up and he began paddling towards an island. As he drew near the shore, a current pushed his raft into a sharp rock and it sunk. He swam to shore, barely made it and exhausted - he passed out on the sand. When he awoke he was in a village The natives were friendly and spoke some limited English. They fed him, gave him a place to sleep and treated him well. When he awoke in the morning, he heard drums in the distance. He asked one of the natives "What are these drums that play?" The native responded "Bad when drums stop!!!" The drums continued for days. Every so often he would ask another native about the drums. The response was always the same "Bad when drums stop!!!!" One day at lunch time, the drums stopped. The natives hurled themselves to the ground, wailing and moaning. He went to the Chief, who had his ears covered and was howling, and asked "Why is it bad when the drums stop?" The chief looked at him in horror and said "Next come bass solo!!" Quote It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PianoMan51 Posted December 11, 2019 Share Posted December 11, 2019 The bad PianoMan51 on my left shoulder just whispered to me: 'Dear Lord, with jokes like these, does anybody on this forum ever get laid?' Meanwhile, two ukuleles and and accordion walk into a bar... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Emm Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 When asked if he really lived in a pineapple under the sea, interviewee said "WTF, are you high?? Get out!!" Quote "I like that rapper with the bullet in his nose!" "Yeah, Bulletnose! One sneeze and the whole place goes up!" ~ "King of the Hill" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real MC Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Due to an error from listening to the tape interview, Saturday's story on the local artist Dances With Groupies mistakenly reported band member Ed Gruberman as the penis player. The story should had read that Gruberman is the pianist. The Sentinel regrets the error. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzpiano88 Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. --Rodney Dangerfield. Quote J a z z P i a n o 8 8 -- Yamaha C7D Montage M8x | CP300 | CP4 | SK1-73 | OB6 | Seven K8.2 | 3300 | CPSv.3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StanC Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 A young boy had just attended his first lesson to learn the tuba. His dad asked, "What did you learn?" The boy replied "I learned how to play a C." The next week his dad asked again, "What did you learn this week?" "I learned \how to play a G." the boy replied. On the third week the young musician did not return until 2 A.M. The frantic father then asked, "My God! It's 2 A.M.!! Where have you been?" The boy calmly replied, "I had a gig!" 1 Quote Stan Gig Rig: Yamaha S90 XS; Hammond SK-1; Rehearsal: Yamaha MOX8 Korg Triton Le61, Yamaha S90, Hammond XK-1 Retired: Hammond M2/Leslie 145, Wurly 200, Ensoniq VFX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Muscara Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 A singer is walking down the street and she sees a piano player she's hired for some gigs walking towards her, looking really depressed and dejected. She stops him and says, "Paul! How are you? What's going on?" He says, "I'm terrible. My wife and daughter just died in a car accident. 😢" She replies, "oh, I know just how you feel. I once left all my sheet music on the subway!" Quote "I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck "The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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