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#2934476 - 06/25/18 04:53 AM How to read a band self-promotion...
picker Offline
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 13493
Loc: Near 12th Street and Vine...
Brought the house down. (Knocked a bunch of stuff off the stage which collapsed a load bearing wall)

Band was in high spirits. ( began drinking shots at noon )

Band started early. ( only 20 minutes late )

It was a good sized crowd. ( we had 'em outnumbered )

It's a very safe place. ( if you're not carrying a weapon, they'll give you one at the door)

We knocked 'em dead. (Played an old folks home)

We were da bomb. ( we bombed )

We incorporated some olfactory stimulation technology. (We stunk up the joint )

It was a high energy show. ( louder than 40 Hells )

We played for a select few. ( it was packed, but everyone left by the start of the second song except for those 5 or 6 drunks at the bar.)

They fed us very well. ( meatballs and franks and little chunks of cheese)

The crowd loved the interaction with the band. ( the audience formed a posse )
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#2934477 - 06/25/18 05:01 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: picker]
Caevan O'Shite Offline
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Registered: 04/05/02
Posts: 24788
Loc: The Great Spirit's Handprint o...
grin Too funny, too true to life!
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#2934509 - 06/25/18 08:58 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Caevan O'Shite]
desertbluesman Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/22/07
Posts: 4717
Loc: Near Phoenix Az
cheers

Now that is funny......

twothumbs
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If it sounds good, it is good !!
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#2934549 - 06/25/18 12:24 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: desertbluesman]
Larryz Offline
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Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 11356
Loc: Northern California
thu grin
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#2934559 - 06/25/18 12:57 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: picker]
d Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 6940
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
Originally Posted By: picker
We incorporated some olfactory stimulation technology. (We stunk up the joint )

No-room-a-therapy ! facepalm
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d=halfnote

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#2934661 - 06/26/18 04:27 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: d]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 10964
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
laugh
Yeah, euphemisms can be fun! wink

I actually read a review of a local band, playing in some local club, where the reviewer used the phrase---

"They played some HEAD BANGING rock and roll...." and I comically thought it meant they were SO boring, people actually "nodded off" and hit their heads on the tables! wink grin
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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#2934960 - 06/27/18 03:52 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: whitefang]
d Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 6940
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
YOU-FAME-ISMS
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d=halfnote

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#2935687 - 07/02/18 04:51 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: whitefang]
picker Offline
10k Club

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 13493
Loc: Near 12th Street and Vine...
Originally Posted By: whitefang
laugh
Yeah, euphemisms can be fun! wink

I actually read a review of a local band, playing in some local club, where the reviewer used the phrase---

"They played some HEAD BANGING rock and roll...." and I comically thought it meant they were SO boring, people actually "nodded off" and hit their heads on the tables! wink grin
Whitefang


Or were so bad, people were trying to smash their heads against the walls...
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Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.




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#2936414 - 07/06/18 03:45 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: picker]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 10964
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
Or....

"He had his guitar screaming!" (couldn't control the feedback)...

..."He played an incediary solo!" (our EARS were burning!)

And too, y'know, I've read in one review many moons ago the critic, actually trying to be complimentary, use the term "gut wrenching" to describe a band's rock "delivery", and I amusingly thought of the time I contracted PTOMAINE, which I too, thought was pretty "gut wrenching." wink
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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#2936443 - 07/06/18 06:59 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: whitefang]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3521
Loc: Inside the Beltway
"Groundbreaking and innovative" - We have no idea what we're doing, and neither does anyone else.

"Exploring new vistas of Music" - Two hours of something that sounds like tuning up, or one hour of pure relentless Noise.

"The Fresh new face of . . ." - We've been playing for ten years, and you still haven't heard of us.

"Just in from their whirlwind tour . . ." - Of backyard BBQ parties, Bar Mitzvahs, Farm markets, and the opening of a new Dollar Store.
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"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

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#2936480 - 07/06/18 10:12 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: d]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Originally Posted By: d
YOU-FAME-ISMS

like
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#2936482 - 07/06/18 10:19 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Winston Psmith]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
“Big in Japan!”...and nowhere else.

“Sold out tour”...buy buying half the tickets themselves.

“Cutting edge!”/“Innovative!”...if you see them live, you’ll think they’re still tuning up when they’re almost through the show.

“Unbelievable stage presence!”...we have armadillos in our trousers.

“All ages venue”...we won’t be playing your favorites
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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#2936591 - 07/07/18 04:10 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Winston Psmith]
picker Offline
10k Club

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 13493
Loc: Near 12th Street and Vine...
"Exploring new territory and expanding their reach" - Nobody who has hired them before will do it again, so they had to go out of town to find places that never heard them before.
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Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.




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#2936612 - 07/07/18 06:55 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: picker]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3521
Loc: Inside the Beltway
"Exploring uncharted territory!" - They can't read Music, hell, they can't READ! The Rhythm Guitarist thinks the strings are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.
_________________________
"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com

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#2936642 - 07/07/18 12:07 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Winston Psmith]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3137
Well, to me this brings up another thing...

My fave music critic (not that I agree with his opinions most of the time, but I always enjoyed his writing and how he said things) is Robert Christgau. His approach was that he was informing kids and rock fans on whether they needed to spend that $7.99... fittingly, his column ran in Consumer Reports, as well as him being the head music critic at the Village Voice (fired by a young editor who took over the paper a few years ago for not writing enough "listicles" and internet-firendly pieces).

Now... well, who spends money on records, anyway? Streaming is by far the popular thing... and if you don't bother with Spotify, Rhapsody, Apple Music, Amazon Music, etc., (like my wife, who though I have a couple of those loaded and set up on her devices doesn't bother but instead just uses...) YouTube is becoming a music streaming service.

Even if you are one of the people who pays for downloads (which overwhelmingly is used to get one song, not an entire record), you can preview the song or hear it in its entirety tons of places...

In short, you can cut out the middle-man gatekeeper to tell you what you need to bother wasting money on in the new paradigm. You can hear the music directly without spending a dime. If you like it that much, you can buy it.

As such, music journalism is searching for a reason to exist, IMO... and I was a music journalist for a spell, interviewing acts and doing record reviews for a magazine a buddy published. I angered a friend/former bandmate with this opinion... who makes his living as a music and film critic and writer for newspapers, but a couple of weeks later his review of a new record was that he couldn't review it because it was too sprawling and a couple of listens wasn't enough and you could/should listen to it on the internet and form your own opinion.

Music magazines seem to be headed towards tabloid gossip type operations, and I'm rarely interested in reading them. My favorite magazine about music to read these days is Tape Op, which is dedicated to recording and record making and has great interviews and stories.

As far as drumming up excitement for shows... I haven't seen much proof here locally that young people read the newspaper's entertainment section - which is also distributed to look like one of the free weekly/monthly magazines in town, which they don't seem to pay attention to, either. Facebook is simply overwhelming with "invites" to shows... we've found that going to groups or message boards dedicated to the type of music we play and posting live vids gets people excited and willing to check things out. But we don't "hype" it up... just let the music do the talking.

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#2936643 - 07/07/18 12:13 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Just for the “record” (*ahem*), I still buy CDs exclusive of electronic formats. The Collection is 5000 strong and growing.
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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#2936655 - 07/07/18 01:10 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3137
I'm a vinyl accumulator. I will buy a CD if the music is unavailable in any other way, or if I really want to support that particular artist, but then I stream or digitize it and listen to it that way 90% of the time.

CDs are on the way out, though. Younger people don't buy them... and younger people determine longtime trends (younger people DO buy vinyl records, even if they don't have turntables for some reason and use the download cards... there is also a cassette tape resurgence among punk and underground kids, which is the most "democratic" of all formats).

CD players are on the way out as far as new car equipment, replaced by aux inputs or bluetooth.

I recently passed a tower cd holder, full of Cds, put out on the side of the road in front of a house for the garbage collector... I looked and took my foot off of the gas pedal, and my wife said "Don't you even think about it!!!!"

CDs on their way out as Best Buy will stop selling them, Target may follow suit

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#2936692 - 07/08/18 04:22 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 10964
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
*Sigh*
And sadly, just like sheep, everyone will go along due to having allowed the sad situation of letting the MARKET control the CONSUMER, rather than properly the other way around.

And though I don't know her, p90, I'm willing to bet that your wife put the kaibosh on your picking up that tower NOT because of the possible clutter it might cause, but because it was loaded with "outdated" media. And, OH GOSH!

We CAN'T be seen with THAT, can we? rolleyes
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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#2936800 - 07/08/18 11:00 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: whitefang]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3137
It was the clutter...

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#2936802 - 07/08/18 11:09 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3137
In this case, the market is actually following the consumer. Compact Disc sales have been dropping for quite a while. The chain CD store locations here have all been out of business for at least 3 or 4 years... WalMart and Target and chain bookstores still sell them, but the sections seem to be shrinking in size all the time., and as noted above some of them are getting out of it.

DVDs are another thing that went quick... actually, they had a shorter life than CDs... I still have some concerts and some oddball shows and a few movies that are all-time fave visual things (that I bought for very, very cheap used)... but I never understood buying a movie, really. I remember arguing with my boss when Netflix started streaming movies that that was it for video stores, and he disagreed...

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#2936807 - 07/09/18 01:24 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Yep, to all of that, p90jr.

I haven’t decided what I’ll do when CDs finally disappear.
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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#2936818 - 07/09/18 04:40 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 10964
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
Originally Posted By: p90jr
In this case, the market is actually following the consumer. Compact Disc sales have been dropping for quite a while. The chain CD store locations here have all been out of business for at least 3 or 4 years... WalMart and Target and chain bookstores still sell them, but the sections seem to be shrinking in size all the time., and as noted above some of them are getting out of it.

DVDs are another thing that went quick... actually, they had a shorter life than CDs... I still have some concerts and some oddball shows and a few movies that are all-time fave visual things (that I bought for very, very cheap used)... but I never understood buying a movie, really. I remember arguing with my boss when Netflix started streaming movies that that was it for video stores, and he disagreed...



Actually not. It WAS the market that found and availed alternate sources for music( like streaming, etc.) and distributors also making the switch that brought about the decline of CDs and DVDs. In fact, I STILL use DVDs for movie viewing( and some VHS since I still have a lot of those tapes and something that works to play them) and now many of the DVDs I have were movies my daughter "downloaded" from some "streaming" service and burned for me. wink

And, I still have a working turntable, still listen to music on CDs through a device hooked up to something bigger, louder and with better sound reproduction quality than something as small but thinner than a deck of cards and tiny "earbuds" that do nothing for me except collect the WAX from my ears. I could get the same thing from walking around with Q-TIPS in my ears. Would sound the same to me too. wink
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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#2936848 - 07/09/18 08:07 AM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
Winston Psmith Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3521
Loc: Inside the Beltway
Originally Posted By: p90jr


... but I never understood buying a movie, really.


There are very few movies I would want to see over and over again, myself, certainly not enough to need to own them. I have a handful of concert DVD's - maybe four?

Back in the late 80's, some friends who were cable subscribers also got some major movie network as part of their subscription package, so they started taping movies on VHS. They wound up with a large bookshelf's worth of tapes, that they barely ever watched. Collecting DVD's seemed much the same, just more expensive.
_________________________
"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com

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#2936903 - 07/09/18 12:45 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Winston Psmith]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Most of my DVDs are musi video collections or concerts. I have a couple of movies and TV shows as well. Mom has a huge movie collection though.

Part of her logic is quite sound: she often buys DVDs of movies that are either classics or she hasn’t seen. She figures- with the new releases, at least- she gets her money out of them after watching them once (usually with friends and/or family) and dining on food at the house instead of those pricey movie snacks. BONUS: pausing the DVD if someone has to run to the bathroom or has another pressing interruption.


Edited by Dannyalcatraz (07/09/18 12:49 PM)
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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#2936943 - 07/09/18 03:07 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3137
Originally Posted By: Dannyalcatraz
Yep, to all of that, p90jr.

I haven’t decided what I’ll do when CDs finally disappear.


You have your collection... and you can pick them up used (or sometimes never opened) now for a dollar or less in some places...

Get a turntable!

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#2936970 - 07/09/18 05:37 PM Re: How to read a band self-promotion... [Re: p90jr]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5615
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Got a turntable. And dual cassettes. Aaaaaand my 160GB iPod.

Just recently got rid of the reel to reel (we didn’t have many tapes).
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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