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The Gig from hell...


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As long as we're posting "other people's gigs from hell"...

 

(crossposted from Gigs From Hell talkbass.com)

 

 

Just thought I might share an experience with you guys. This was a few years back and I originally posted it on TBL, but I thought it might be appreciated here.

----------

THE FOLLOWING IS COMPLETELY TRUE

 

The company I work for, "Legends in Concert", was commissioned to bring their show to Beirut in December 1997. This, apparently, was to be the first show from the west since the civil war. We were brought over (a cast of 21: dancers, acts, musicians, etc.) for a 3 week run. When we reached Lebanon, we were treated like royalty; armed guards and TV

crews, 5-star hotel, the works. AS IT TURNS OUT, the show was placed in am old theatre on the Muslim side of town. This is a problem for 2 reasons

 

1) The Muslims (in general) weren't interested in this type of show,

2) The Christians (in general) wouldn't go to the Muslim side to see such a show. It was in an area known as the "green zone"

 

With no real monitor system, a bass amp (among other things) must be rented at a rate of $3,000 FOR 3 WEEKS!! -wait, there's more. Opening night, packed house (all comps tho); the US ambassador (who came to see the show) says to our light tech "...you were VERY BRAVE to come here." Well, a rocky start, but I'm sure it'll be fine...

 

2nd night, there are 7 PEOPLE in the house (capacity about 1,500). Not good. 3rd night ZERO PEOPLE. None, nada , zip! Show is basically done. The promoter starts to get a little zany, as he has PREPAID for the show

(about $500,000). The armed security that had been escorting us around town is discontinued. Things start to get tense. The promoter starts to suggest that the show be cancelled, and, of course, that HE GET HIS MONEY BACK.

 

He starts to make veiled threats that he "...might not be ABLE to let us go if he doesn't get his money back." Needless to say, everything (salaries, plane tickets, freight, etc.) has ALREADY BEEN PAID by Legends- he ain't gettin' no money back. AS IT TURNS OUT the consulate is holding our passports; the promoter had to post a sizeable bond to bring us into the country. There is a General at the consulate (who just happens to be a friend of the promoter) who must stamp our passports for us to leave the country. We now CANNOT LEAVE UNLESS THE PROMOTER WILL ALLOW US TO!! -wait, there's still more.

 

The US embassy says that they can't really do a whole lot unless we are actually threatened. Meanwhile, in a drunken rage one night in the hotel (we had to stay in practically the whole time- we were told it was UNSAFE to go outside), the promoter exclaims: ".. I OWN you people!! You will perform in my LIVING ROOM, if I say so!" -not lookin' good.

 

Unbeknownst to us at the time, one of his goons has called the company in Vegas, claiming that we were now the prisoners of Hezbola (sp?), and we would not be freed until he received his money. THIS sets the American embassy in motion. They arrive in the next morning (we were told that night, be ready to go with 5 minutes warning with a dozen armored bullet-proof suburbans, Lebanese mercenaries, and a lot of guns.

 

We are FORCIBLY EXTRACTED from the hotel (while the promoter's goons try to stop us), taken to another hotel on the other side of town; there is not enough room for us to stay at the embassy. AS IT TURNS OUT, THERE ARE NO FLIGHTS AVAILABLE FOR 2 DAYS. Also, the airport is what the military calls a "Hot Spot", which meant it was dangerous enough that the ambassador (with a dozen armed guards) doesn't use it. We are what is know in the military as a "soft target"

 

We are put up in a hotel with mercs and Lebanese army guarding every floor and entrance for 2 days. Turns out the promoter is a quasi-mafia figure. We are escorted to the airport under armed guard again. In transit, one of the embassy guys, Ramzi (his real name), says: "...uh, look. Probably nothing will happen, but if you hear shots being fired,

get down underneath those bullet-proof vests on the floorboard."

 

Traffic is stopped by armed guards as we speed through downtown Beirut. Incidentally, our suburban had a turret mounted on the top; much like a tail-gunner on a military plane. Eventually, we arrive at the airport, escorted by Ziad, a Lebanese merc working for the embassy, carrying a CONCEALED WEAPON in the airport, (who, incidentally, the Sergeant at the embassy said of "..if I need someone TAKEN CARE OF, I'll use Ziad.") who says "..if you hear any shooting, get down, and I will handle it". We are supposed to keep a low profile at the airport, so naturally the girl playing Tina Turner decides it would be cool to buy a DAGGER as a keepsake at the gift shop and try to take it on the plane with her. This attracted a lot of attention.

 

We fortunately leave without incident, and arrive home safely.

Whaddayathink...all-time gig from hell?

 

I got a pic of all of us at the embassy which I'll post if anyone wnats to see it. Again, I have not fabricated ANY of this. Oh, I forgo the part about our hotel room with a toilet that overflowed EVERY DAY, spilling sh*t all over our bathroom floor EVERY DAY. -also true.

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I can't top the one above, but I can share a definitely weird experience?

 

College age dude, playing in a Dead-ish band in Santa Cruz, CA. 1981?

 

I'm playing through an out-of-tune Rhodes and a crap Korg CX clonewheel through painful amplification. It was what it was. But I had an ancient $500 station wagon to haul stuff around, because I had this gig as a programmer.

 

Heck, one of the guitarists bought if off me so he and his girl could have place to sleep. Different times.

 

We get invited to play a raging Halloween party. OK fine. Sign me up

 

Come to find out, it's an ex-insane asylum that's been taken over by a commune-type situation of happy hippies. Well, this should be interesting.

 

The night of the gig, we drive up. It's dark and stormy night. Iron gate, threatening statues and lightning stabs. It's got bad movie written all over it. Definitely gave me the creeps.

 

We get there, and I'm handed some "punch". Little did I know that I had been completely dosed to the gills. OK, fine, lets rock it?

 

We start to play our hearts out in this ex-insane asylum to our happy hippy crowd. People in costumes. It's an official rager, as most everyone is tripping hard.

 

It's all starting to get very surreal, very Dali. Melting everywhere. Playing keys is getting hard.

 

Can I have some OJ please? A little less surreal?

 

At the break, one of the ladies decides to take me to a "treatment room" (full restraint seat, treatment equipment all around, ugh) and wants to get all friendly.

 

Not OK, not fine. She's in a horror costume. I freak. Although she was quite hot. Regrets.

 

I bolt out of the situation, looking for more OJ. Not in control, really.

 

I find something to eat, and I'm better. We play a second set, and a third, and a fourth. It's an all-night rager. OK, fine.

 

Along about 5 am, it's still a dark and stormy night. I want to get the hell out of there, the other guys want to keep playing. The other guys are still blazing thanks to the punch. We find it hard to communicate.

 

The vibe of the place is not healthy, you can feel the suffering echoing from the walls. Creep city.

 

Eventually, we're out of material, now we're into informal jams. OK, fine. Blues jams for several hours. My fingers are starting to hurt.

 

About 9 in the morning, there was general agreement to stop. Maybe 10 hours of playing? Sheesh.

 

Damn, was I so glad to get out of that place. Scarred me for life.

Want to make your band better?  Check out "A Guide To Starting (Or Improving!) Your Own Local Band"

 

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I played there in the mid 90s. Escorted by IDF to the border where UN Peacekeepers were. Druse Militiamen escorted the bus to Beirut.

I knew I was in a dicey place when I saw price tags on Tanks by Peugeot, Saab, Citreon Dealership.

The fact everyone working was patching 50 cal. Bullet holes in concrete walls was another reminder that management said it was once again the jewel of the Med. was another slick agent trick.

 

 

 

Magnus C350 + FMR RNP + Realistic Unisphere Mic
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As long as we're posting "other people's gigs from hell"...

 

(crossposted from Gigs From Hell talkbass.com)

All my gigs from hell combined do not match this gig from hell, sheesh! I do recall one time, playing a rock club. We finished the last set, and we're sitting on the stage as the place was closing up. A dude comes running, stumbling into the club and collapses right in front of us with multiple stab wounds, pretty scary.

Some music I've recorded and played over the years with a few different bands

Tommy Rude Soundcloud

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All my personal gigs from hell are pretty much weather related. Either hit by a CAT 1 hurricane, almost getting hit by lightning whilst playing in a courtyard or melting in 100+ degree beach wedding ceremony in the direct sun, then trying to jog back to the club house for cocktail hour then to the reception for the main gig in sweltering heat. This is NOTHING compared to the hellish gigs above.
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First band I was in back in the 80's. Stage is a flat bed trailer in a parking lot for some celebration. The generator power was so flaky that my Juno 106 powered off and on every 15 seconds. Obviously unplayable!

J a z z  P i a n o 8 8

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Yamaha C7D

Montage8 | CP300 | CP4 | SK1-73 | OB6 | Seven

K8.2 | 3300 | CPSv.3

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I never had anything quite that bad. One time we were playing in a national guard armory and the power came from 100 yards away. My B3 was a half step flat.

 

Another time we were playing this bar and a couple bikers got chairs and put them about 5' away from the band, staring at us. They had a bottle of vodka they snuck in and were trying to drink it on the sly, which wasn't working. Finally one of them stood up and got about a foot away from our guitar player while we're playing Linus and Lucy, and says "you play like a pussy". Finally our sound guy, who might have been 140lbs, went up to them and asked them to move, and they actually did. To this day when I see that guitar player I tell him he plays like a pussy and we have a good laugh. He's a phenomenal player- won Galax, plays guitar, mandolin, banjo, violin, etc.

 

Live: Korg Kronos 2 88, Nord Electro 5d Nord Lead A1

Toys: Roland FA08, Novation Ultranova, Moog LP, Roland SP-404SX, Roland JX10,Emu MK6

www.bksband.com

www.echoesrocks.com

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I have nightmares about gigs from hell. Does that count? :laugh:

 

You know..... just like those dreams we all have about forgetting to go to class all semester and the grades are coming out; ending up naked in class; forgetting your paper route customers; etc?

 

I have dreams of forgetting where my bag of cables is and spend all night dreaming about frantically looking for it while everyone else is ready to play.

J a z z  P i a n o 8 8

--

Yamaha C7D

Montage8 | CP300 | CP4 | SK1-73 | OB6 | Seven

K8.2 | 3300 | CPSv.3

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I have nightmares about gigs from hell. Does that count? :laugh:

 

You know..... just like those dreams we all have about forgetting to go to class all semester and the grades are coming out; ending up naked in class; forgetting your paper route customers; etc?

 

I have dreams of forgetting where my bag of cables is and spend all night dreaming about frantically looking for it while everyone else is ready to play.

 

I thought I was the only one

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... just like those dreams we all have about forgetting to go to class all semester and the grades are coming out;

This one blows my mind. Apparently everyone has some variation of it. It goes to show how traumatic school is. It takes the subconscious a lifetime to deal with it.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

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I have nightmares about gigs from hell. Does that count? :laugh:

 

You know..... just like those dreams we all have about forgetting to go to class all semester and the grades are coming out; ending up naked in class; forgetting your paper route customers; etc?

 

I have dreams of forgetting where my bag of cables is and spend all night dreaming about frantically looking for it while everyone else is ready to play.

 

Probably the subject of another thread (and probably to Freudian for a forum like this), but I regularly have "gig from hell" dreams wherein I'm playing an important gig and the keys are melting or crumbling under my fingers and I'm just thinking wtf! The great part being where you wake up and realize it didn't happen.

 

I was entertained by CPHollis' raver story because I've had similar experiences. At the time they seemed arduous and traumatic. Now, looking back, it just seems like the stuff a musician's life is made of.

Gigging: Crumar Mojo 61, Hammond SKPro

Home: Vintage Vibe 64

 

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I know I've had hell-gigs, but it must be a sign of either brain damage or stupidity that I can't seem to remember any right now. I try to take music with a hi-pass filter (all of life, actually), and can usually take away a reason I was glad to do a gig.

 

I do remember one particularly messy wedding that seemed to send everyone over the edge into nervous breakdown territory. There was open revolt during the gig. But aside from me feeling bummed that I wasn't a better match for the material (Latin is not in my skillset), the horrible-ness of that experience has actually become one of my favorite music memories.

 

We are paid money to play music. That is all win. If you don't love it, it's better to quit, because ain't none of us getting rich enough to keep doing it if it sucks.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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I have gig dreams a lot. Usually setting up frantically, or afterwards, but never performing. I remember one where I left my keyboard stand in the dressing room, which was several blocks away. wtf?

 

Live: Korg Kronos 2 88, Nord Electro 5d Nord Lead A1

Toys: Roland FA08, Novation Ultranova, Moog LP, Roland SP-404SX, Roland JX10,Emu MK6

www.bksband.com

www.echoesrocks.com

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Not too bad compared to the above. But played a gig a couple weeks ago at an outdoor block party.

 

Start time was 4pm on a Sunday, outside in the parking lot where they block off the road. We show up at 01:30pm and they're still putting the stage together. We load our stuff on the stage, but there's only one sound man. We have to use his board and speakers, that's the agreement. They only have a 16 channel board with a 12 input snake. We normally use 24 inputs. We knew this going in. Less mics on the drums, I tandem my two keyboards to 1 signal.

 

It took the soundman forever to wire each mic, then there was feedback, so we had to try different mics and cables running them directly to the board.

 

Start time was supposed to be 04:00pm, we went on at 04:40pm. This was actually good, because they told us the previous band didn't go on until 05:30pm.

 

They ran power by running 2 extension cables from the store across from the stage. We lost power in the 2nd set for 10 minutes. They ran another cable from the bar.

 

In the 1st set half the mains did not work. The system had 2 powered Mackie speakers, and huge cabinets that required power from an amp. Those speakers did not work for some reason and the sound guy could not figure it out until the 2nd set when someone else helped him.

 

There was horrible feedback in the 1st set. Every time we ended a song, there was a howling noise that sounded like aliens. It was feedback in 3 different tones until we started the next song.

 

After the power failure things were good, the people danced, and everyone was happy.

 

My advice if you play a block party, ask if you can bring your own sound. If you can't, then plan on wiring directly to the board (bring your snake), have a bunch of XLR cables ready, and use your mics. Have each person in the band ready to run their cables to the board. It takes a single sound man forever to do this. I told him, he agreed, but said if there's two people running cables, there can be confusion as to the input list.

 

Got some videos out of it. Set 1

Set 2

Set 3 (Everyone is liquored up at this point)

Korg 01W/FD, Hammond XK-2, Neo Ventilator2, JBL Eon, Rhodes 88
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I have had gigs from different kinds of hell.

 

1. I was playing saxophone in a blues band. The band leader booked us to play the reception for a Cuban wedding. A blues band. For a Cuban wedding. It did not go well. He did it twice.

 

2. Again saxophone but in a 10-piece jump band after they had become passé. The day after Dale Earnhardt died we played a seafood festival not too far from Daytona. Large mildly hammered crowd. Someone approached the stage and asked our "lead singer" to say something about Dale Earnhardt. He turned and looked at the horn section - uh oh. "He should have worn his seat belt." I told the bari player to get ready to duck behind the stands when the bottles come flying. Fortunately they didn't.

 

We were supposed to play the next day but thankfully we were fired. The event coordinator had received over twenty phone messages complaining about the guy.

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Valentine's day gig in the 80's, dance floor packed. Band playing Harden My Heart. Fellow on said dance floor has a heart attack. Band stops playing. EMT's arrive, take every measure to save the gentleman, but to no avail. Gig is done. Never felt worse. Horrible.

"I  cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long"

Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues

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Not too bad compared to the above. But played a gig a couple weeks ago at an outdoor block party.

 

Start time was 4pm on a Sunday, outside in the parking lot where they block off the road. We show up at 01:30pm and they're still putting the stage together. We load our stuff on the stage, but there's only one sound man. We have to use his board and speakers, that's the agreement. They only have a 16 channel board with a 12 input snake. We normally use 24 inputs. We knew this going in. Less mics on the drums, I tandem my two keyboards to 1 signal.

 

It took the soundman forever to wire each mic, then there was feedback, so we had to try different mics and cables running them directly to the board.

 

Start time was supposed to be 04:00pm, we went on at 04:40pm. This was actually good, because they told us the previous band didn't go on until 05:30pm.

 

They ran power by running 2 extension cables from the store across from the stage. We lost power in the 2nd set for 10 minutes. They ran another cable from the bar.

 

In the 1st set half the mains did not work. The system had 2 powered Mackie speakers, and huge cabinets that required power from an amp. Those speakers did not work for some reason and the sound guy could not figure it out until the 2nd set when someone else helped him.

 

There was horrible feedback in the 1st set. Every time we ended a song, there was a howling noise that sounded like aliens. It was feedback in 3 different tones until we started the next song.

 

After the power failure things were good, the people danced, and everyone was happy.

 

My advice if you play a block party, ask if you can bring your own sound. If you can't, then plan on wiring directly to the board (bring your snake), have a bunch of XLR cables ready, and use your mics. Have each person in the band ready to run their cables to the board. It takes a single sound man forever to do this. I told him, he agreed, but said if there's two people running cables, there can be confusion as to the input list.

 

Got some videos out of it. Set 1

Set 2

Set 3 (Everyone is liquored up at this point)

 

I now have been playing in the local market that I know the few decent sound people in the area. Some are quite good.

 

Conversely, if it's a name I don't know, we offer to bring our own sound. My gear is pretty good unless we're talking a large festival or something. And I know how to run it.

 

If not acceptable, then we plan for the worst.

 

And it often is the worst.

Want to make your band better?  Check out "A Guide To Starting (Or Improving!) Your Own Local Band"

 

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Band playing Harden My Heart. Fellow on said dance floor has a heart attack.

 

It was not lost on me the uncanny coincidence of a heart attack happening during that particular song.

 

Hard not to feel so bad, but it wasn't really your fault. No one knew that was going to happen.

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Going back to the Lebanon story, a situation where your personal integrity is threatened is a whole different league.

 

Don`t gig often, but have had situations as part of my job, one in Brazil and once in Mexico. I have been in sketchy situations in different countries, but these take the cake - face to face with criminal organizations with 0 chance of any kind of official authority intervention.

 

My dad had a work colleague working in Angola in the 70s, when the civil war broke out. He called his wife, told them to pack what they could in 15 minutes, had already sent a car to pick her and the kids and meet him in the airport. Left everything behind.

Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Motif ES Rack / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / SE-05 / Jupiter Xm / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II

MBP-LOGIC

American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760

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Pretty much any outdoor gigs not in the wintertime here in FL...I have been rained out a bunch of times and the threat of rain was there when we didn't get rained out. Just the nature of the beast here in FL, and the rain is sideways monsoon rain that will get you even if you are under a good-sized roof. We are also the lightning capital of the world.

 

Hmm, a day comes to mind that actually turned out pretty well, but at the time was hell. July 4th, we were signed up to play a night show before the fireworks. We ALSO had a one-set gig about 20 miles away at an outdoor festival for earlier that day. So we set up at the big nighttime one so that the sound company could check everything....tore down a "mini rig" to take to the one-set gig (drummer was ok, they had drums) only to find that parking there was non-existent. Had to hoof it in 100 degree heat to make it there, then rain threatened (see above). Then we had to bust ass, literally running, to make it back to our FAR AWAY cars that had no closer pull-ins in order to barely make it to the night-time gig. Where it threatened to rain again.

 

Moral--don't sign up for two gigs on one day unless you know they are easy.

 

2nd takeaway -- that was the day I decided to get a cart. One of the best decisions I ever made. My kids or my rock'n'roller cart, which do I love more...I'd have to think for just a second....

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Many many moons ago, our band had two shows on 4th of July Saturday.

 

That morning I helped my Dad put new blacktop on his driveway. I was wearing shorts. I brushed a little tar on my ankle and got it off using a rag damp with gasoline.

 

First gig is during the early afternoon on a pleasant hot sunny 4th of July.

 

By the time I started playing the night gig, I felt this burning sensation in my ankle. It was getting worse as the first set had progressed. It finally dawned on me that the gasoline from the rag that AM had soaked into my skin and the hot weather had ignited it - AND THERE WAS NO WAY TO STOP IT.

 

I spent the entire night clawing at my ankle when I didn't have keyboard parts to play.

 

The burning stopped the next day, a week later there was massive dried skin peeling off the ankle. At least I didn't need medical help.

 

No smart aleck remarks about "burning chops"... :D

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None of my compare to some of these, but I did have a bit of a scare just last summer, which I had already posted so this is a duplicate...

 

Lake gig thurs/fri/sat outdoor covered stage. Set up Friday, tear down Sunday, cover everything with tarps in between plus, as I said, stage is covered and has mesh screens on the back and sides. Well a tornado blew through on Saturday afternoon. Blew all the tarps off and rain blew sideways into the stage and drenched everything. It cleared out and we began triage around 3:30pm for our 9pm show. I tipped my Kronos and water literally poured out of it, it was filled....same with my A70 not to mention my K10, pod, guitar, etc. This was our first weekend playing with a new $30k line array system. 5 amp racks with amps full of water - same thing, tip them and water pours out. The line array sections were active so each had a soaked amp bucket. We had an indoor conference room they let us use. The production crew took the covers off every amp and put large fans on them. I took apart my keyboards, pod, and the cover off the amp bucket of my k10 and took a hair dryer to every circuit board, key contact, etc including the felt of the key beds. We wanted to wait til the last minute to power things up to give them ample time to dry out, but that also meant any issues would be a last minute scramble to fix. Got everything put back together and set back up. Start firing things up and it's looking good. The moving lights start to move and dump a shower of water down on stage. These were mounted directly under the roof and water still managed to fill them! Bass amp didn't work so he ran direct and put is bass in his wedge. A couple vocal mics didn't work and had to be swapped. A couple snake channels were bad and had to be swapped. Some of the lights didn't respond at first but by the end of the night were all working. We ended up starting at 9:30pm and other than a few gremlins here and there, managed to pull off a good show. The bass amp worked the next night. No permanent damage to anything other than a mic or 2.

 

....so actually I don't even know that I would call it a gig from hell, because the actual gig turned out good. It was just a frantic mess and some tense nerves leading up to it! I'm thinking worst case scenario....if my Kronos is dead in the water, I've got it backed up, but there isn't a music store with a Kronos for sale within a 3 hour drive in any direction. What if I'm the one that screws the show? Luckily all was good.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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Waterproof gig gear. Maybe that would be a thing?

 

I would consider it. I've been rained on quite a few times, though never that bad. Another time we were playing at Busch Stadium for a Cardinals game and right towards the end of our set it just downpoured. I tossed a tarp over the rig and got it transferred into the cases under the tarp as quickly as possible. Due to the difficult load out, we put all the gear in the drummer's car. When I opened it the next night, it was still damp. I let it set out for a while before I attempted to turn it on and luckily everything was fine. That rig was my Fusion and Triton.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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I've got a couple good ones, though it might go against my non-disclosure agreement to tell them, lol!

 

Suffice it to say, there was a two-day engagement in another country where the first night we played, everything that could go wrong, went wrong: guitar amp breaks down, several backup amps also dead, 3 consecutive keys break during one song on my backlined keyboard so I have to swap it out middle of set (what the client might not have known is that I saved my own hide and had my own backup shipped out just in case), then during the next song a rack tom mic falls off the rack and lands on the floor tom in the middle of a song with LOTS of floor tom. We all thought we were going to get fired that night, musicians and crew!

 

The next day we show up early to soundcheck. I find out that my monitors were wired out of phase (so THAT's why I had no low-mids in my mix last night!), FOH engineer comes to find that sound company zeroed out all faders, covered the FOH board with plastic in case of rain (outside gig), but didn't shut the board off! Middle of the day, tropic heat, they take the plastic sheeting off the board and a plume of steam rises! Crossed fingers, the board is OK. Well...the FOH board.

 

In the middle soundcheck, our monitor board fries. The nearest compatible board is somewhere a plane flight away. We are on a resort filled with fans, and this could kill the last show! Long story short, our crew figured out that there were two busses available on the FOH board that could give us two different mixes: one for the singer - our employer - the other for the band. I have a moment of clarity and ask the guys how many (working) spare guitar amps they have left. There were enough for me and a couple other musicians to use as monitors for our own instruments. The end result is, we put on a fantastic show that night and totally redeemed ourselves!

 

I'm sure many of you have similar stories!

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