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Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig


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Played in a Black Sabbath tribute band in the very early 90s, maybe the first tribute band to the Sab ever. One gig we had a drunk begging us ALL NIGHT to play an Aerosmith song for his birthday. He went on and on about it. I think his name was Steven something....Just kidding about that last part.

FunMachine.

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Between sets @ Berkeley's Starry Plough. Young 20-something rolls up, "You play like you have the wind in your hair."

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Perhaps you were inadvertently channeling this guy. :D;)

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

- George Bernard Shaw

 

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  • 2 months later...
Long ago (in the '60s) and far away (in Louisiana), I had a drunk patron come up to the bandstand, put a dollar on my Hammond tell me to play "D 6". I puzzled over that for a minute then walked over to the jukebox to see what song was in the D 6 slot. It was one we covered so I told the bandleader we had a request for that tune and we played it. The drunk came back and thanked me for playing his favorite song.

Wayne Tibbit

Hammond, keyboards

Gigs: Hammond XK-5 system, Leslie 3300, Nord Stage 2EX 88, Motif Rack eS, Traynor K4, QSC K10s. Studio: C-3, B-3, A-100, Leslies, Yamaha N3.

 

Dallas

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Played a job in a dance hall one Sat night. I was in the can and a fellow asked if I was in the band, saying we were the best thing he's ever heard. The next Sat I was playing the same club in a different band. Run into this same guy who tells me we are the best thing since sliced bread, but the guys last week sucked. :freak:

"I  cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long"

Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues

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Morman gig.

 

"Y'all can't come in here."

In "fairness" we had arrived early, set up and went through soundcheck before going outside for a few minutes. Coming back to the front door the doorman and his boys wouldn't let us back in because we were black.

They didn't know that we were the band so I asked if we could just get our equipment. "Huh?"

They let us in and we did the gig.

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One gig we had a drunk begging us ALL NIGHT to play an Aerosmith song for his birthday.
maybe you could have played a Sab song in the style of Aerosmith, or vice-versa

"Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.'-Hamlet

 

Guitar solos last 30 seconds, the bass line lasts for the whole song.

 

 

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  • 8 months later...
Then there was the gig at a backwoods place called the "Eagle's Roost" in waaaaaaay northern NJ near the NY state border.

 

We were a Grateful Dead covers/original project. After the first set the owner said, "I dig your stuff, but any band that plays here damn well better play 'God Bless America'."

 

This was several years before 9/11 and way before smartphones so none of us had a clue as to the words or chords, just the basic melody.

 

Thankfully he let us get away with "American the Beautiful."

 

Never played that joint again.

 

This reminds me - in high school my, uh, jazz fusion trio (we wanted to be MMW; also I got laid all the time) got booked to play some campground. Halfway through the gig people started yelling for us to "play something patriotic." I think we went with Fables of Faubus ...

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Played an outdoor street event behind the state Capitol building. It was a guitar and pedal steel gig. This dude watched every move I made like a hawk. I was getting a little worried. He approached me after the set and asked 'What kind of instrument is that you are playing? It is really cool. I guess he wasn't a Country Music fan. I told him it is called a pedal steel guitar and has its roots originally in Hawaiian Music.

"It doesn't have to be difficult to be cool" - Mitch Towne

 

"A great musician can bring tears to your eyes!!!

So can a auto Mechanic." - Stokes Hunt

 

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So I am standing there and this chick inquires.. 'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me'?,,, so I says, naw it's a cannoli. So she counters.. leave the gun, I'll have the cannoli. :rimshot:

ersatz

You don't have ideas, ideas have you

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are. "One mans food is another mans poison". I defend your right to speak hate. Tolerance to a point, not agreement

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"That's so unprofessional."

 

Said to me by the band leader as I played warm-ups (very quietly) in the hour before downbeat. (After lifting heavy cases and such to set up the "stage", I need to do 20-30 mins. of hands-on-the-keys to work out muscle stiffness.) I think BL prefers that no one appears on the "stage" until the music starts. I myself think playing badly in public is unprofessional. I didn't argue the point, even tho' I can hear every professional symphony and opera musician doing warm-ups before every one of their performances (and I have never heard anyone suggest it is not professional). I now do my warm-ups using headphones so I can pretend I do not hear any snide comments. I notice that the best soloist in our band now does warm-ups himself before our performances. I take that as a "win".

J.S. Bach Well Tempered Klavier

The collected works of Scott Joplin

Ray Charles Genius plus Soul

Charlie Parker Omnibook

Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life

Weather Report Mr. Gone

 

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More "head-smackingly nonsensical corporate speak" than actual crazy, but... Got a gig itinerary from an event planner with individual load-in times for specific band members/instruments, which was fine. But at the end it said, "To allow for parking, please arrive 20 minutes before your scheduled load-in time."

 

I couldn't decide whether to respond with a Spinal Tap "Why not just make ten louder?", or an Office Space "Just tell me how many #^*%ing pieces of flair you want me to wear."

 

 

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You play to much colored people's music. You are fired. (The only gig I been fired from in 35 years).

 

I got that a few times over the years as well only they used the ultimately impolite term instead, which may be your case also & you're just trying to be diplomatic.

 

We also played a local venue (only once) where one girl in the audience kept shouting, "Play some white American Rock & Roll". We were just as glad to not get rebooked there as they probably were to not have us back.

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Drunk girl came up to me after a pub gig and begged me: "Take me home and play me like you play that f***ing piano!"

 

Which really upset me. Because I was playing my Hammond that night.

Studio: Yamaha P515 | Yamaha Tyros 5 | Yamaha HX1 | Moog Sub 37

Road: Yamaha YC88 | Nord Electro 5D

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Not during a gig, but post-gig this last Saturday. Driving through Coventry town centre at 1am, very slow as there are drunk pedestrians all over the place. There's a tap on the window and a young lady says "If I give you £20 can I get in the back of your van and you drop me off at the curry place?"

Remember - you can make a record without an organ on it, but it won't be as good

 

www.robpoyton.co.uk

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Bloke, to me, about our singers (one guy, one girl): "They should dance together more"

Me: "Well, they're singers, not dancers"

Him: "Just saying..."

Me: (internal facepalm)

 

Also, following a soundcheck in which our subs are putting out plenty of bass:

Him: "You should put the bass through the subwoofers"

Our bass player replied: "It's fine we know what we're doing". My advice in those situations is to reply: "Wow, that's an amazing idea - why didn't we think of that? We'll do it just as soon as we can. Thank you so much"

 

Cheers, Mike.

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My advice in those situations is to reply: "Wow, that's an amazing idea - why didn't we think of that? We'll do it just as soon as we can. Thank you so much"

100% agree with that strategy. Definitely pacifies the drunken "sound engineers" at bar gigs.

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As I was tearing down after last Friday's gig, a female patron says, "Can I have your number?". I responded, "Talk to the guitar player, he books the band." "No, I mean, are you married?" "Yes." "Do you want to have an affair?". Blushing, " No, but I'm flattered."
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"Don't Alpha-Male me."

 

Said to me by the sound guy at my Saturday night gig as I was attempting to explain (politely and calmly, I thought) the night's lineup of musicians. Keeping in mind I'm 5'7" and 145 pounds, was sitting down on a stool while he stood on the stage.

 

Pretty stunning.

Nord: Piano 5 73, Electro 6D

Casio: PX-5S

Yamaha: P-121

Novation: MiniNova, BSII, Circuit

DSI Mopho x4

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