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Way, Way, Way OT: Divorce


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But I'm proud of myself, and figured I'd give myself a chance to say it before it passes in favor of my customary propriety blend of vague self-loathing and crippling personal disappointment.

Excellent mayne.:thu:

 

Now, take those coins and start saving up towards a couple packs of wife beaters (t-shirts) and some shoes other than Camo Crocs. :laugh::cool:

PD

 

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."--E. Ahbez "Nature Boy"

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  • 1 year later...


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Way happier than I have been in years.

Congrats! As a friend of mine once said, sometimes the things that you think are the worst thing to happen to you turn out to be the best!

Maybe this is the best place for a shameless plug! Our now not-so-new new video at https://youtu.be/3ZRC3b4p4EI is a 40 minute adaptation of T. S. Eliot's "Prufrock" - check it out! And hopefully I'll have something new here this year. ;-)

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Boom. Officially divorced as of today. Way happier than I have been in years. Walking tall, at least as far as that concept has meaning for the height-challenged like me.

 

How YOU doin' KC?

 

I believe in closure. If the relationship is doomed, its best to close the door.

 

I recall my "D". I had my keyboards and $150 in cash. Nothing more.

 

But I was free again. It was great. No drama, just happy to be single ( at that time).

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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It was 3 years of insanity getting divorced! But that was 20 years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did. I still occasionally have to interact with my ex and every time I see her I'm sooooo happy I'm not married to her.

You want me to start this song too slow or too fast?

 

Forte7, Nord Stage 3, XK3c, OB-6, Arturia Collection, Mainstage, MotionSound KBR3D. A bunch of MusicMan Guitars, Line6 stuff

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Boom. Officially divorced as of today. Way happier than I have been in years. Walking tall, at least as far as that concept has meaning for the height-challenged like me.

 

How YOU doin' KC?

 

Me TOO. Today.....doin' just fine!

 

Seriously--today? Congrats and how funny. We win the world.

 

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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Congrats to the happily divorced! http://blue-funk.com/NonBandPictures/smileys/cheers.gif

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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It was 3 years of insanity getting divorced!

 

It took me six years to get my divorce. The marriage didn't even last five years. It should had been a simple divorce, no kids and I'm not rich in the least; she manipulated the process by putting roadblocks in the process, doing things at the last moment, etc. She was milking the entitlements as long as she could, but in the end the judge was not at all pleased.

 

There's something really wrong when the divorce process takes longer than the marriage relationship.

 

But that was 20 years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did. I still occasionally have to interact with my ex and every time I see her I'm sooooo happy I'm not married to her.

 

As soon as the alimony obligations were completed, I cut her off completely. It was a bad marriage, the divorce process was awful, and I wanted her to get out of my life and stay the f=== out.

 

Was I happier after it was over? No, it took 13 years to heal those scars and I only recently learned to smile again. I was pretty bitter. When the divorce was finally granted, my lawyer told me it was the worst case he had in 30+ years and he would not be surprised if I joined a monastery. Living in tranquil secluded country as a recluse was pretty darn close to that.

 

I want to be in a relationship again, but I had to be ready. And I'm a lot wiser now.

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In the middle of it now after 16 years. That part of it is heartbreaking, but it's for the best. No one misbehaved, just soul-crushing fighting.

We both agree that we're better friends than soulmates. Rod Stewart's wives all got together and made Christmas dinner for him. They feel the same way, apparently.

Here's hoping.....

These posts are helpful. Not the OP here, but thanks all.

Roland RD-2000, Yamaha Motif XF7, Mojo 61, Invisible keyboard stand (!!!!!), 1939 Martin Handcraft Imperial trumpet

"Everyone knows rock music attained perfection in 1974. It is a scientific fact." -- Homer Simpson

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I got divorced in '89, I think it was.

 

The punchline?

 

I still get occasional calls from bill collectors wanting payment for bills that my ex is running up. Tough toenails, bub...I had a wife-ectomy 27 years ago. She's not my problem. She's your problem and you're welcome to her.

 

Best wishes going forward.

 

Grey

I'm not interested in someone's ability to program. I'm interested in their ability to compose and play.

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Wow! Congratulations! That year went fast though it probably seemed like a life time for you.

 

My first marriage ended because we had expectations.

 

My second one ended because we had different expectations.

 

This one we have no expectations and married 23-1/2 years so far.

 

:cheers::)

 

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Rod Stewart's wives all got together and made Christmas dinner for him.

 

He dropped my favorite quote about divorce in an interview:

 

"Simple, find the most beautiful woman in the world and buy her a house."

 

Bob

Hammond SK1, Mojo 61, Kurzweil PC3, Korg Pa3x, Roland FA06, Band in a Box, Real Band, Studio One, too much stuff...
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This one we have no expectations and married 23-1/2 years so far.

 

:cheers::)

 

no expectations ? I definitely have some. This is all discussed, worked out before getting married.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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He dropped my favorite quote about divorce in an interview:

 

"Simple, find the most beautiful woman in the world and buy her a house."

 

Bob

The way I heard it was "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/rodstewart188864.html

 

Either way...great quote(s).

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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I've been a lawyer a long time, and handled a lot of divorces. You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're worth it.

 

You would think people wouldn't be so nasty and vindictive and happy to get out of toxic situations?

"Danny, ci manchi a tutti. La E-Street Band non e' la stessa senza di te. Riposa in pace, fratello"

 

 

noblevibes.com

 

 

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You would think people wouldn't be so nasty and vindictive and happy to get out of toxic situations?

 

No one enters a marriage planning to leave it. All the dashed hopes sometimes end in a desire for revenge, or at the very least a desire not to see the other come out "better" than you. Unfortunate (and expensive) but true.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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When I announced my engagement to my first wife, my grandfather sent me postcard with the caption "Marry in haste, repent at leisure". How true that proved to be.

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

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I still get occasional calls from bill collectors wanting payment for bills that my ex is running up. Tough toenails, bub...I had a wife-ectomy 27 years ago. She's not my problem. She's your problem and you're welcome to her.

 

After I divorced, I made a conscious decision to get an unpublished phone number because I knew the ex was going to get in trouble with debt.

 

Sure enough, one of the collectors found me. I read them the riot act:

 

I cut her out of my life completely, I have no idea of her whereabouts and I like it that way, any debts incurred by her after the date of filing for divorce are not mine, you have reached an unpublished phone number which was established to eliminate harassment from collectors, remove this phone number from your distribution list, and do not ever call me again regarding this woman or I will seek retribution afforded by the Federal Fair Credit Reporting Act.

 

I never heard from a collector again.

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No one enters a marriage planning to leave it.

Another great quote - this one I can't attribute - is "A man enters into marriage thinking nothing will change. A woman enters into marriage thinking anything can be changed. Eventually they are both disappointed."

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

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Another great quote - this one I can't attribute - is "A man enters into marriage thinking nothing will change. A woman enters into marriage thinking anything can be changed. Eventually they are both disappointed."

 

"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." Often attributed to Einstein, but probably not, see...

 

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/01/17/marry/

Maybe this is the best place for a shameless plug! Our now not-so-new new video at https://youtu.be/3ZRC3b4p4EI is a 40 minute adaptation of T. S. Eliot's "Prufrock" - check it out! And hopefully I'll have something new here this year. ;-)

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Most of humanity, has my sympathy, certainly divorced men in USA.

 

This brilliant man has had my rapt attention for the past 6 months; a fountain of wisdom for me.

 

[video:youtube]

 

[video:youtube]

 

You don't have ideas, ideas have you

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are. "One mans food is another mans poison". I defend your right to speak hate. Tolerance to a point, not agreement

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MoI, I'm glad for you that this chapter is nor formally (and legally) closed. It very much sounds like you are ready to move forward with the new chapter which is excellent.

 

As much as the "men / women and change" quips are amusing, and provide a veneer of insight, that really wasn't true for me and the recent statistical findings seem to bear that out.

 

Much more persuasive to me is the suggestion that men generally commit to marriage when they believe the woman brings out the very best in them - they feel they are (or have the potential to become) the man they want to be because of the woman. The corollary to that (in the report I read) was that men enjoy the physical and everything that goes with it (excepting perhaps that strange burning sensation at the urinal), but men don't marry because of sex. They marry because she makes me a better man.

 

This is true in my present (second) marriage. I married my wife because I genially believe she makes me a better man, and a better person. So the "hope nothing will change" thing isn't accurate in my anecdotal case.

 

That being said, all the change of moving her and her daughter into my house - well, yes on a practical level change has been hard for me. 10+ years as a single guy in a big house and I'm not Felix Unger. Two pretty neat and meticulous ladies. Change has been difficult, on both sides. But understanding and communication carry the day.

 

MoI, I wish you the very best in this season. Fresh start, wiser for the years and the miles on the tires.

 

I could tell you about my long journey post divorce, but it doesn't matter. Yours will be different, and distinctly your own, and hopefully you are a far better version of yourself as a result.

 

Tim

..
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