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Way, Way, Way OT: Divorce


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I own a whole lot more keyboards now then I did when I was married. See, it's not OT after all.

Maybe this is the best place for a shameless plug! Our now not-so-new new video at https://youtu.be/3ZRC3b4p4EI is a 40 minute adaptation of T. S. Eliot's "Prufrock" - check it out! And hopefully I'll have something new here this year. ;-)

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It's never fun, regardless of whose choice it is. You usually run the gamut of emotions, and then suddenly you find yourself in a new life while the last one slides into a distant memory. Thoughts are with ya, bro ... hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.

D-10; M50; SP4-7; SP6

I'm a fairly accomplished hack.

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That sounds painful. Sorry, man, and best wishes for everything. And I hope that wherever the divorce goes, it is amicable.
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Been there 3 times. It gets easier!!! Lol

Good luck to you I know it will turn out for you.

My 1st plaintiff said it best "you should have married music" now I finally have and life is good.

Jimmy

 

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Groucho

NEW BAND CHECK THEM OUT

www.steveowensandsummertime.com

www.jimmyweaver.com

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About as painful ( particularly especially if kids are involved) as anything life can dish out.

A tearing apart of ones ideals, heart, belief in oneself even. A mutha.

After the pain abates a bit, introspect so you can more carefully choose the next woman in your life. This is NOT a blame game. Life is just thrown at us, when we are really not quite prepared.

I think an OT topic ought to be how to get along with a mate.

You don't have ideas, ideas have you

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are. "One mans food is another mans poison". I defend your right to speak hate. Tolerance to a point, not agreement

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I own a whole lot more keyboards now then I did when I was married. See, it's not OT after all.

 

Definitely truth there :laugh: On a more serious note, if you tend to drink a lot watch your alcohol consumption. I slipped from heavy drinking into full blown alcoholism, which probably did more damage than the divorce itself.

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I own a whole lot more keyboards now then I did when I was married. See, it's not OT after all.

 

Definitely truth there :laugh: On a more serious note, if you tend to drink a lot watch your alcohol consumption. I slipped from heavy drinking into full blown alcoholism, which probably did more damage than the divorce itself.

+2

Almost done with mine. Fortunately the kid is in college. It's been a great opportunity to take stock and learn what's really important. Work hard to evade the negative emotions. Never forget: it will end and you will survive. Mediate if you can, not easier but way better than court.

(my keyboards are starting to multiply, odd)

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That sucks... sorry to hear it.

 

Now that I typed that, I remember a couple instances saying that to a newly divorced person and their responses were the same... "Why [sorry]? I'm not."

 

I only hope this doesn't damage your sense of humor. Your comments are always either insightful, hilarious or somehow both... and I always look forward to them.

 

God bless and best of luck to you!

MainStage; Hammond SK1-73; Roland XP-80, JV-90, JV-1080, JV-1010, AX-1; Korg microSAMPLER;

Boss DR-880; Beat Buddy; Neo Instruments Ventilator; TC Electronic ND-1 Nova Delay

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I went through it several years ago. It's a bumpy road. A few words of advice:

 

+1 to the Alcohol comments above...I went through a phase where I started drinking pretty heavily and it was affecting my job and other parts of my life. Once it was all over I got re-energized and sort of settled back into normal but it was a dangerous time.

 

Dating a young hot chick 13 years younger than you whose sister is married to the bass player may seem like a good idea, but trust me, it doesn't make the whole divorce process any easier.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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I am out and will post more later, but man: suffice to say I am quite glad I overcame my hesitation and posted that here. Really perceptive and funny replies, that are making a difference in real time.

 

This place is alright.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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I don't have anything to add but best wishes, man.

 

It's just like a band breakup but with more gear to divide, right? ;)

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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I can't believe that I am going through this. 34 years married. About six months ago, I noticed my wife was really distant. Asked her what was going on? Ten minutes of silence later, she said that she wanted to move out. Refuses to get counseling. She just wants out. There seems to be nothing that I can do. So, she moved out (at my expense, since she has no income) and I am stuck.

 

Right now, I am ruined emotionally. In a few months, I will probably be ruined financially.

 

Can't believe it. I thought that my marriage was the best thing in my life.

 

 

Yamaha Motif XF6, Yamaha AN200, Logic Pro X,  Arturia Microbrute, Behringer Model D, Yamaha UX-3 Acoustic Piano, assorted homemade synth modules

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Been there and done that as well. It's emotionally draining regardless of how easy or hard it is. Hopefully it's not terrible for you.

 

All I can say is do whatever you can to keep the lawyers out of it. In California everything both of you earned, everything both of you acquired as far as assets and possessions belongs to both of you equally. That's the short version.

 

You've been 50/50 partners in everything since you got married. It's irrelevant if you've had separate bank accounts, she has her car and you have your car or any of that. 50/50, that's it. You don't need to be paying attorneys thousands to argue about that split. It will wind up 50/50 unless one of you voluntarily concedes something.

 

The other thing is taxes. Your filing status is whatever your spousal situation was at midnight December 31st of 2015. It sounds like you were married so your choices are filing married joint or married separate. That's it. Filing separate also costs you so if you're on any kind of speaking terms at all, file joint and do it now before she decides to file on her own. Just tell her she gets half of the savings from filing separate. Also, it's illegal to file single if you're still married. The only exception is if you had a formal legal separation agreement in force prior to the end of last year. This info is on irs.gov or you can PM me.

 

Good luck man, this ain't easy...

 

Bob

Hammond SK1, Mojo 61, Kurzweil PC3, Korg Pa3x, Roland FA06, Band in a Box, Real Band, Studio One, too much stuff...
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Hey brother....we live a lot longer than the institution of marriage allowed for initially; marriage is a manmade construct to further the economic status of the families (we've evolved, but maybe the institution has not); Better to move on and be happy then stay where you are and be UNhappy.

 

Sorry for your grief, but keep looking forward!

Hitting "Play" does NOT constitute live performance. -Me.
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Sorry to hear you're going through this. I hope my story will not bug you, and hopefully it will budge your perspective a tad now and then as you go through the worst of it.

 

I was married 25 years, a truly excellent relationship. I basically lost my mind at 55 and felt an uncontrollable urge to flee. We talked, we went to therapy, but in the end decided it was better to part as friends.

 

I did a dumb thing and got right into a new relationship. It was crazy passionate and exciting, but she was all wrong for me. Lots of breakups and get-back-togethers. My ex and I toyed with the idea of reuniting during one of the breakups but didn't do it.

 

2.5 years later, I finally gave up on the new relationship. My ex had found a great guy. We stayed as close as we could and then tragically she caught cancer and passed away.

 

Before that happened, however, a friend introduced me to the right new partner. She and I have been together for almost 2 years now and in fact just returned from Vegas last night, where we got legally married! Big ceremony will happen in Feb but this love--completely unexpected and out of the blue--feels just right.

 

It can happen, and it probably will but not when you're looking for it. In the meantime, I wish you peace and good music--my playing really took off when I was suffering the worst!

Doug Robinson

www.dougrobinson.com

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