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Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig


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A guitar player/singer friend of mine was hosting an open-mic back in the day; some guy came up to him after he finished singing his 1st song and said, "You sound like that guy from the '70s."

 

I've had some crazy crap said to me at gigs, but I doubt I'll ever get something as odd as that.

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Happened 3 weeks ago at a wedding. We'd just finished playing, and we were all in high spirits because it was a fantastic night. There's this one blind drunk guy though (there's always one...) who keeps pestering our female singer (it happens a lot, she's quite a looker) as she's packing up. The same guy who fell down mid set and almost knocked the PA over. Anyways, I call the singer over and ask her to "help me with something" just to get her away.

 

Anyways, 10 minutes later we're starting to load things outside and he begins to follow us, constantly asking her if she "believes in me" whatever that means. Eventually the staff notice him wandering around the back rooms with us and they take him away. We start packing things into the cars and see him wander around the back door area again, where the caterer's van is parked and also being loaded.

He disappears for a while and we finally think he's gone. By this point I'm outside loading the male singers car up with his gear.

 

The engine to the caterers hired van turns on and the lights fill up the driveway. "Wow, they tidied up fast" I think to myself. Once my eyes get used to the brightness I look up at the van (directly in front of us) and notice the silhouette of the hammered guy sitting in the drivers seat. My heart sinks for a second. A member of staff must have noticed too cos next thing I see is a member of staff run out to get the guy out of the van. The van begins to rev and the worker tries to put the handbrake on. The guy in the van drives forward a bit, then struggles with the worker outside who manages to put the van into reverse somehow. The van (with the back open and the loading lift at ground level) suddenly reverses into the wall of the building, crashes and then accelerates forward towards me. I grab the singers gear and dive to the side as the van misses me by inches, drives through a group of wedding guests onto the castle gardens and swerves down the embankment eventually crashing into the fence at the bottom. The immaculate lawn is all chewed up by the loading bay that dragged along the ground and the only road out of the place is blocked by the crashed van.

 

Anyways, floods of workers and wedding guests sprint after the guy, get him out, and beat him to a pulp. Fair enough they were angry, but it was almost unfair - there were 5-7 people on top of the guy pounding away at him.

 

Everyone was scared that we would sue or something, but luckily none of our gear was damaged. Myself and the drummer were a little shaken, but that was all. We just wanted to get on the road (2-3 hour drive home). The scary thing wasn't the fact that the van almost killed me - my gear was up against the car on the other side of the driveway. If he'd swerved a tiny bit to his left he'd have run over my brand new FA06!

 

Luckily no one except from him was hurt. I've no idea what went through his mind or what possessed him to get in and drive the caterers van, but I would NOT have liked to be in his shoes that following morning...The caterers, castle owners and wedding party were furious. Obviously. On top of that, we had to wait an extra hour before we could leave due to the fact that the broken van was blocking the way out. Poor guy...

Hammond SKX

Mainstage 3

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The scary thing wasn't the fact that the van almost killed me - my gear was up against the car on the other side of the driveway. If he'd swerved a tiny bit to his left he'd have run over my brand new FA06!

 

Spoken like a true musician. :D:thu:

Moe

---

 

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[snip] I grab the singers gear and dive to the side as the van misses me by inches [snip]

 

I feel bad you almost had calamity but laughed hard when I read the bit about grabbing the singer's gear as the out of control van piloted by a drunk guy fighting off the caterer.

 

Maybe in Scotland it's a different culture, but over here, don't think too many people would have grabbed the singer's gear. Most singers would have already left by that time, as they aren't usually up for helping load out.

 

It's funny how we as musicians think- ok, impending doom, could die, really bad day hurling my way, oh crap, grab the gear!

 

In all seriousness, glad you were not hurt.

"Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind"- George Orwell
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[snip] I grab the singers gear and dive to the side as the van misses me by inches [snip]

 

I feel bad you almost had calamity but laughed hard when I read the bit about grabbing the singer's gear as the out of control van piloted by a drunk guy fighting off the caterer.

 

Maybe in Scotland it's a different culture, but over here, don't think too many people would have grabbed the singer's gear. Most singers would have already left by that time, as they aren't usually up for helping load out.

 

It's funny how we as musicians think- ok, impending doom, could die, really bad day hurling my way, oh crap, grab the gear!

 

In all seriousness, glad you were not hurt.

 

Singer also plays rhythm guitar and brings the PA, so he and the drummer have the most gear out of all of us. Usually we pack our stuff up then help them with theirs and all leave at the same time...usually. Though every band is different, some bands I've depped with have an "every man for himself" mentality once the show is over.

 

You guys are right about the gear thing though, it's almost like we develop a paternal instinct, especially towards new gear!

Hammond SKX

Mainstage 3

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[snip] I grab the singers gear and dive to the side as the van misses me by inches [snip]

 

I feel bad you almost had calamity but laughed hard when I read the bit about grabbing the singer's gear as the out of control van piloted by a drunk guy fighting off the caterer.

 

Maybe in Scotland it's a different culture, but over here, don't think too many people would have grabbed the singer's gear. Most singers would have already left by that time, as they aren't usually up for helping load out.

 

It's funny how we as musicians think- ok, impending doom, could die, really bad day hurling my way, oh crap, grab the gear!

 

In all seriousness, glad you were not hurt.

 

Singer also plays rhythm guitar and brings the PA, so he and the drummer have the most gear out of all of us. Usually we pack our stuff up then help them with theirs and all leave at the same time...usually. Though every band is different, some bands I've depped with have an "every man for himself" mentality once the show is over.

 

You guys are right about the gear thing though, it's almost like we develop a paternal instinct, especially towards new gear!

 

I am surprised you didn't push the singer in front of the out of control van...

 

'55 and '59 B3's; Leslies 147, 122, 21H; MODX 7+; NUMA Piano X 88; Motif XS7; Mellotrons M300 and M400’s; Wurlitzer 206; Gibson G101; Vox Continental; Mojo 61; Launchkey 88 Mk III; Korg Module; B3X; Model D6; Moog Model D

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"I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..."

 

said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table

 

Geez! In my band, every one of us would take out our guns and say: "So, where's the rest of it?"

 

..Joe

Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4.
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"Didn't I know you in the spirit world ?" - asked of me - out of the blue - by a wisp of a girl, at a community fundraising event. Made me think of unicorns, wizards, dragons, and... psychedelics. I think her name was 'Willow', or something like that.. :crazy:

'Someday, we'll look back on these days and laugh; likely a maniacal laugh from our padded cells, but a laugh nonetheless' - Mr. Boffo.

 

We need a barfing cat emoticon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From the "I swear I'm not making this up" file. Last night a woman at the bar called me over and asked me my name. I told her. She said, "Why does your keyboard say Korg?" I said that's the name of the company that makes it, why? Her reply: "Oh, I thought maybe Korg was your name." :facepalm:

Ah... I always wondered how so many keyboard players could be named Roland.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

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It's funny how we as musicians think- ok, impending doom, could die, really bad day hurling my way, oh crap, grab the gear!

 

Your comment reminded of a gig years ago at a club that had a nice stage that was chest-high to the crowd. So the front row of the crowd, of course, always leaned on the stage. The club was also huge, so we always hired sound since our PA couldn't fill the place. Our band had an awesome female singer that also happened to be quite easy on the eyes. Her husband played bass.

 

On the night in question, there was a bleery-eyed drunk standing in front of our singer. At one point she moved too close to the front, and he started rubbing her calves. She looked a bit surprised, but kept on with the song and moved back out of reach. Her husband did nothing. Several times during the show, she forgot about the guy, moved too close, and he grabbed her, or at least tried to. Each time, her husband did nothing.

 

Then the drunk noticed the sub-snake sitting nearby. He reached for one of the connected cables...

 

...and our bass played stomped his hand. Hard.

 

The bouncers had finally noticed the guy, too, and lead him out. After the show, I laughed that the bass player had done nothing to protect his wife but went ballistic when the guy tried to touch the gear. He just said, "Hey, this stuff's rented!"

Live: Yamaha S70XS (#1); Roland Jupiter-80; Mackie 1202VLZ4: IEMs or Traynor K4

Home: Hammond SK Pro 73; Moog Minimoog Voyager Electric Blue; Yamaha S70XS (#2); Wurlitzer 200A

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From the "I swear I'm not making this up" file. Last night a woman at the bar called me over and asked me my name. I told her. She said, "Why does your keyboard say Korg?" I said that's the name of the company that makes it, why? Her reply: "Oh, I thought maybe Korg was your name." :facepalm:

Ah... I always wondered how so many keyboard players could be named Roland.

 

A bit OT, but similar thing happened with my day job. They grouped several of our products together (Flow meters) and created a "Flow" sales channel. So they hot us company logo'd shirts that said "Flow" on them. So I'm checking into a hotel and the clerk asks if my name is Flow. I said no, Dan. Then why does your shirt say flow? I immediately thought of the Progressive insurance gal.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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MANY years ago when for a brief time my rig consisted of a Rhodes 54-key (dug it!) and on top of it my first polyphonic synth, a Juno 60, I internally entertained the idea of adopting the stage name Roland Rhodes, then my stage set up would have been totally customized!

Rich Forman

Yamaha MOXF8, Korg Kronos 2-61, Roland Fantom X7, Ferrofish B4000+ organ module, Roland VR-09, EV ZLX12P, K&M Spider Pro stand,

Yamaha S80, Korg Trinity Plus

 

 

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For our 'work' band, we were playing in someone's yard as community support for a local race. There were bands stationed throughout the course.

 

This was a Sunday AM thing, we set up around 7:30 AM, play from about 8:30- noon or so as runners go by.

 

So about 11:30 or so, we see this lady come flying up in a car, parking next to the porta potty-

 

She proceeds to come up to the stage, just as we are finishing a song, and begins to scream at the lead singer lady-

 

"You F*&*G A*$#*$#S SUCK! EVERYONE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD F#$&&G HATES YOU GUYS!! NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!! YOU NEED TO PACK YOUR S&(&&$T UP AND LEAVE!!!

 

There's kids around, people gathered to watch the race, and the whole nine.

 

As she walks away, she turns around and flips us off with both fingers, high and proud. She then gets in her car and peels out of there.

 

:snax:

 

We all look at each other, laugh, and for the rest of the gig we used her as the butt of all our banter- "Here's to our number one- or number two- fan. Or is it number one twice?"

 

Then, at the end, we are tearing down and we hear this blaring music a few houses down- apparently she tried to drown us out.

 

That officially elevated us to 'rock star' status.

 

"Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind"- George Orwell
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Just earlier this evening there was a belligerent drunk guy angrily demanding to hear Sweet Child Of Mine. We had already played it, but it was the end of the night and there was hardly anyone left, so we said we'd play it again if he asked nicely. He did, so we started it, but the singer cut us off and said he'd only sing it again if the guy gave him a hug. So as they hugged, I jokingly started playing the opening riff in the upper range of the the piano, with a sort of music box accompaniment in the left hand. As I played it, the immediate verdict was that it sounded like Styx -- the guitarist thought it sounded like Lady, and the singer thought it sounded like Come Sail Away. So when we finally got around to actually playing the song, I was mentally singing Come Sail Away over top of it the whole time. It works surprisingly well, and may result in a mash-up tomorrow night, all thanks to the belligerent drunk's aggressive demand.
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Anyways, floods of workers and wedding guests sprint after the guy, get him out, and beat him to a pulp. Fair enough they were angry, but it was almost unfair - there were 5-7 people on top of the guy pounding away at him.

 

Sympathy level for the guy = 0.0000000

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  • 3 months later...

1. Some years ago we were playing in this funny almost looking as a club place and suddenly the guard of the club appears on the stage. The guy was totally drunk and asked us loudly as we're playing if we have any condoms, then before he gets an answer turned back, tripped over our cables and crashed on the stage..we were still playing.

 

2. In the same place - just finishing Sting's "Fields Of Gold" when a middle aged guy approached me saying:

"What a nice song, is it yours",

Me: No, its written by Sting.

Guy: Sting...?",

Me: Yes, Sting...you know, he once sang and played bass in Police.

Guy: Oh, yes..sure

Then the guy returns to his table where his buddies await him and he explains them: "It's a Sting song". Everybody else: "Sting?", the guy: "Yes, Sting...you know, he once sang and played bass in Police" ..

 

3. While playing in that awful piano bar one night, in the middle of a song I felt somebody is dragging my right hand and talks in my ear: "Sorry to interrupt you..do you that song...I can't remember its name" Then starts singing in my ear while I'm trying to play some solo...

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The craziest thing said to my best friend (Guitarist) at a show was that his fingers move over the fretboard like a sped up air hockey puck.

 

The craziest thing said to me in the Doors cover band was the club owner saying "Here's five thousand dollars, think you can do another show here next month?"

 

That got less crazy as we started making around that much for every show. Of course when the lead singer decided that we the musicians only earned $200 each and he was entitled to all the rest I walked away.

 

Carl

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I played in a 7 piece, R&B, Funk, Soul, Reggae, Dance band for a few years.

 

At one of our hotel/resort gigs, person asked me during a break, "Do you guys play any white music?"

 

There are many more with that theme, but that one always comes off the top of my head!

 

 

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My wife and I play together in an 80's band. At a recent show, a gorgeous blonde that we've both met came up to me during break... Really close... Like, really close... Put her arm around my waist...

 

And I'm thinking, "If my wife sees this, I'm in deep sh*t..."

 

Then the blonde leans close to my ear and says in a sultry voice, "Is your bass player married?"

 

Not sure which was louder, my sigh of relief or the sound of my bubble bursting.

Live: Yamaha S70XS (#1); Roland Jupiter-80; Mackie 1202VLZ4: IEMs or Traynor K4

Home: Hammond SK Pro 73; Moog Minimoog Voyager Electric Blue; Yamaha S70XS (#2); Wurlitzer 200A

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Can't quickly remember all the stuff, just first things bethinked:

 

- I told you! They play the blues, why do you suppose that was jazz?

[screwed teenager to another one, after our confirmation]

 

- Are you guys striving for glory? Nope? So then for some dough.

[actually... just for fun]

 

- I'm from FSB and you'd better accept my offer... to play one more gig at the countryside tonight.

 

- It's an 8-bit synthesizer, isn't it?

[pointing to Nord Electro 3]

 

- Which stand? Why don't you just put your board on PA cabinet? Everybody before you was satisfied with this.

[so I started to haul pretty much all of the gear needed]

 

- Monitor speaker what? It's in repair.

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I had set up my keyboards the night before a major gig at a local bar. I showed up the next night (OF THE GIG) and the drummer and bassist told me, "Oh hey, after you left yesterday we stayed and did some jamming. There was a girl who wanted to sit in on keyboards and we didn't see any harm in it."

 

Thankfully nothing got messed up with my setups I had spent hours arranging for the gig.

 

As it turns out, the "girl" was a local pro who happened to be a friend of my brother and who actually knew the tech.

 

She was insanely jealous of the Nord Stage 2, especially.

 

Small blessings, but I never want to hear the words, "we let someone play your stuff" EVER from a bandmate.

Nord Stage 2 SW73, Kurzweil PC3LE7, Moog Sub 37, Alesis Ion, Rhodes Stage 73, Moog Werkstatt-01, Yamaha CP-300

-------------

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting synthesizer

Interrup-MOOOOOOOOOG

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" Didn't we know one another in the spirit world ? ". Happened in 2004, at a country gig; go figure.

'Someday, we'll look back on these days and laugh; likely a maniacal laugh from our padded cells, but a laugh nonetheless' - Mr. Boffo.

 

We need a barfing cat emoticon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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