Have you guys noticed that when people decribe themselves as "serious" musicians, they tend to spend more time acting like pedantic douchebags and less time rocking the f*ck out?

I am not a serious musician. That is all.

Most people think they are special. I hate to break it to most of them that they are rather ordinary, but someone has to do it.

Don't lie--you don't actually hate to break it to them. I think you enjoy it.

But that's a good thing--it's important to love what you do.

Curly Howard of the Three Stooges played bass and he was definitely not serious.

But everyone loved him.

Anybody that describes themselves to me as a serious musician gets (and deserves) a taint punch. I know a few of these douche bags, they can almost play, but not quite. Usually high on technique, low on feel. And they do annoying sh*t like sit around on the bus analyzing scores to symphonies they will never play OR conduct. Always managing to miss the point, they can bore you for hours about the incredibly well written 3rd french horn part to an obscure Stravinsky composition.



Don't get me started.

Hey Moe, swing it! Nyuk nyuk!
Fortunately I haven't run into too many "serious musicians", but the ones I have were real asshats.

But what about Harpo Marx? He played the harp. That has to qualify as a serious instrument!

You're a serious musician.

True, Erik. I've also noticed that people who truly are "serious" musicians NEVER refer to themselves that way.

You're a that way.

Chico Marx played piano seriously well, and he was definitely not serious.
Groucho Marx played guitar really well, and he was NEVER serious.

But DON'T NEVER accuse the Harpo man of being serious...

I remember a scene from 'Disorder in the Court' where Curly is playing URB. He was a seriously funny man.

You're disorder in the court.

I used to be a "serious" musician.

(Serious = code word for "arrogant a**hole")

Ok, let it rip. I am a serious musician!

I have to be. All the rat-bag, a$$-hat, holier-than-thou bands in my little armpit of Washington State that are looking for a bassist list "serious musician" as a pre-requisite.

I'm thinking of starting my own band and posting on CL for "non-serious musicians".

Most of the 'serious' ads around here state, "must have own equipment and car".

Erik hits the nail on the head.

If you ever answer a craiglist/paper/whatever ad where a band is looking for a musician and the phrase "we're very serious about our music," is uttered during the initial conversation, make up some excuse and get the hell out of there.

Here he is in "Disorder in the Court".


You can watch the entire film if you have 16 minutes to spare.
google video

Shirley you can't be serious?

I'll remember this thread next time someone asks for the TAB for some obscure bass line buried deep in the mix of a song someone has to learn by the next day for an audition or as the first dance for a bride and groom.

Is it me or do all the people in serious bands, who want to make it big, spend hours seriously on the music but spend no serious time on the business side?

Is that even a serious question or just a series of seriouslys?

One guy in the band does all of that stuff...

You're not suggesting that there is at least one serious musician in every successful band are you?

I'd rather just have fun.

Thanks Jeremy, and that IS said video. we have five grandkids who all loved that movie, so consequently I've seen it about fifty times in a 15 year period.

Allow me to add a corollary.

If someone else calls you a serious musician, it may well be the truth, and a compliment.

If someone refers to themselves that way, the above comments apply.

Tom

Unless they call themselves a serious musician first, in which case you probably want to ignore them, or possibly do violence to their frame.

No. Unrelated thoughts.

It seems to me that, in music (as with most of life) a person's attitude often means just as much, if not more, than their skill set. I've noticed certain behaviors manifest themselves in various musician personalities... the one that annoys me most is that whole "I'm very, very serious, special and important" thing I run into from time to time. Sometimes they're technically skilled, but often they are not. They're just barnacles on the music. They're dismissive to new ideas, but they don't have any ideas of their own. They can get the job done, but it usually happens without much flair or personality, and the performance is about as compelling as watching grass grow. But they're very serious musicians... so, you know... there's that. And you know it because they tell you this all the time.

These folks usually aren't special or important at all, and they wouldn't know how to rock if someone strapped them to a frickin' La-Z-Boy. They are basically creative buzzkills who are most likely overcompensating for a lack of confidence and ability with a know-it-all, grave and pedantic attitude.

And I think they should all attempt to copulate with lightbulbs.

My band's attitude toward playing music can be summed up by Spencer Tracey's toward acting: "Hit the marks, say the jokes, collect the check, and go home."

I'm about to be invited to join one of the aforesaid "serious" bands. All good friends of mine for years. They want to practice "at least once a week" and gig "occasionally."

I'm gonna have to break their hearts. While these guys have been sitting around playing pocket pool for years, I've been "hitting the marks," etc.

You and I would never get along on a tour bus.

I kinda understand if someone posts an ad looking for "serious musicians" when they really mean "no flakes". A better term would be "person serious about making music and performing". There is a real problem when someone classifies themselves as a "serious musician", pompous a*s would be more like it, kind of like the term "expert".

Who would I consider a serious musician? Someone that:
- has been professionally trained
- has a degree in music
- an active member of an orchestra for a serious length of time
- a member of at least 2 other working musical collaborations
- creates and performes their own music
- give instrument lessons with backing theory
- makes their entire living off their musical endeavors
- loves music and lives for the thrill of being part of it
- corrects people and downplays when they are called a "serious musician".

So, all in all, there aren't many of them.

Since I was only in an orchestra for one year (in college over 40 years ago), I guess I'm not a serious musician.
I made all the other requirements, though!

Just to clarify: I don't think there's anything wrong with taking music seriously... but come on--look at the big picture. Be a frickin' person, ya know? I think there's a degree of humor and self-knowledge that should probably accompany any artistic endeavor, and it just seems like so many of these "serious" bungholes can't quite figure this out.

No matter how serious the music is, don't we still "play" music? Think about that for a minute... we PLAY music; we don't "work" music. It's playing--we play. I'm not saying it's a game, but really, come on... while many of us are involved in music because it's a career or a calling or because it was a way to meet members of the opposite sex (or the same sex--I don't judge), the impetus to get into music was the pursuit of joy. So don't try to take the joy out of music, and I won't take a dump in your Cheerios, OK?