But I thought bands were about music??

I don't know anyone who confuses Nitro's albums with music.

I grew up in Highland Park, IL. Michael Batio taught at the local music store. By all accounts I've heard he was as much a poseur then as later when those pics of Nitro were taken.
I'm very impressed with good speed guitar players. Batio doesn't rate "good" in my opinion. You may as well sequence samples randomly.

But yeah, hair height definitely goes to Nitro...