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#2775206 - 04/26/16 10:03 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: xKnuckles]
wd8dky Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 993
Loc: Chicagoland
Easter Joke. NOTE: if you're offended by religious jokes, move on.

Jesus is on the cross, and suddenly calls out, "Peter, Peter, come quickly!" Peter fights his way to the base of the cross and asks, "What is it, Lord?" Jesus replies, "I can see your house from up here!"

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KC Island
#2775236 - 04/26/16 12:03 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: wd8dky]
Theo Verelst Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 4038
I thought the Irish space program was funny.

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#2775238 - 04/26/16 12:19 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Theo Verelst]
DulceLabs.com Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 04/21/13
Posts: 5183
Loc: CLASSIFIED

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#2775259 - 04/26/16 01:25 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Jazzman]
Synthoid Offline
10k Club

Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 10588
Loc: Pennsylvania, USA
Afternoon sonata and dancing:



_________________________
To stop the flow of music would be like the stopping of time itself, incredible and inconceivable.
-- Aaron Copland

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#2865060 - 07/07/17 09:28 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Synthoid]
The Real MC Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 5314
Loc: Secluded Tranquil NY Wine Coun...
The Post Office receives this mysterious envelope addressed "To the greatest drummer in the world". The employee there happened to know the address for his friend the famous jazz drummer Elvin Jones so he mailed it to him.

Elvin saw the address and said No this can't be for me, and he forwarded it to Max Roach. Max couldn't accept that letter was for him.

So Max forwarded the letter to his friend Buddy Rich, who was notorious for his narcissism and flamboyant stage presence (as well as his reputation of being very hard to work for). Buddy was very delighted to receive the letter and proceeded to open it with glee. He pulled the letter out of the envelope and began to read out loud "Dear Ringo..."

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#2876154 - 08/31/17 12:00 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Jazzman]
The Real MC Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 5314
Loc: Secluded Tranquil NY Wine Coun...
You can't take me to eat anywhere...

Waitress: How would you like your burger cooked?
Me: Both sides.

Waitress: what would you folks like to drink?
Mom: Decaf Coffee
Brother: Coke
Dad: Diet Coke
Me: Diet water

I have a question about an item in the menu. There's a meal called the waitress special; does that come in blonde or brunette?

While ordering food at the Italian restaurant, my brother and I started (humorously) arguing over how to pronounce gnocchi. I was married to a red blooded Sicilian and she pronounced it with a silent G, my brother insisted it was with a hard G. I said at least it isn't pronounced "nookie". Our waitress brings our orders out, and as she sets my plate of gnocchi in front of me she very sweetly says "Here's your nookie". Busted a gut over that one.

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#2876243 - 08/31/17 11:54 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: The Real MC]
Lindaru Offline
Platinum Member

Registered: 07/19/15
Posts: 1989
One of my radio people did a show Monday on how the standard playing card deck aligns with the 52 weeks of the year, the four seasons, so forth.

One of the things she mentioned was the Ace of Spades. This is always the card that has the manufacturer logo on it and is large compared to the other aces in the deck.

I told her I had a deck of cards made by Bicycle and that they did the same thing with that particular card in making it very large and noticeable.

Why?

So you could "pedal your Ace all over town".

smirk crazy
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This account is closed.

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#2891573 - 11/20/17 11:21 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Lindaru]
Geoff Grace Offline
Senior Trade Show Overseer
10k Club

Registered: 08/13/02
Posts: 11139
Not surprisingly, someone I know thought I would find this funny:



I only wish they knew how to spell "Geoff."

Best,

Geoff
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Enthusiasm powers the world.

Craig Anderton's Archiving Article

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#2891788 - 11/21/17 06:54 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Geoff Grace]
lightbg Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 02/02/01
Posts: 696
Loc: Rockaway,NJ,UNITED STATES
A penguin is about to take a nice drive in the country when he notices a stain under his car. He drives to his gas station and asks to have it looked at. The mechanic tells him the lift is busy; he'll need about 1/2 an hour. The penguin spots an ice cream stand across the street. He decides to treat himself and orders a triple scoop of vanilla. He enjoys every bit of it, but since he has no hands he left some drips on his beak.

As he walks over to the garage the mechanic greets him. 'What did you find?" The mechanic replies "It looks like you blew a seal".

The penguin says "Naw, that's just a little ice cream".

hitt

Jake
_________________________
1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP

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#2891791 - 11/21/17 07:37 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: lightbg]
davedoerfler Offline
KCFF League Champion 2017
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 12/27/12
Posts: 7976
Loc: the swamp
Originally Posted By: lightbg

Jake


roll
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“Meaningless distraction drains you of the energy you should be placing into more serious things or using to simply enjoy the rewards of your labor.”
Bruce Springsteen
"I am guilty"
davedoerfler

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#2891802 - 11/21/17 10:13 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: davedoerfler]
S_Gould Offline
Platinum Member

Registered: 03/27/01
Posts: 1240
Loc: Port Charlotte ,FL,UNITED STAT...
I heard the same joke in Alaska a few decades ago, but it involved an Inuit and a snowmobile. Your version is cuter.

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#2891803 - 11/21/17 10:16 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: davedoerfler]
RudyS Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/06/02
Posts: 2433
Loc: Groningen, The netherlands
Originally Posted By: davedoerfler
Originally Posted By: lightbg

Jake


roll


Haha, briljant Joke!
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Rudy


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#2891990 - 11/22/17 07:11 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: RudyS]
Steve Nathan Offline
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Registered: 01/06/06
Posts: 3109
Loc: Nashville, TN
An old Fav from the New Yorker.

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#2906885 - 02/03/18 02:07 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Steve Nathan]
lightbg Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 02/02/01
Posts: 696
Loc: Rockaway,NJ,UNITED STATES
I guess I wasn't the first one with the Penguin Joke, but this version does have video......



Jake
_________________________
1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP

"It needs a Hammond"

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#2906929 - 02/03/18 04:54 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: lightbg]
DulceLabs.com Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 04/21/13
Posts: 5183
Loc: CLASSIFIED

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#2906947 - 02/03/18 07:13 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: DulceLabs.com]
MathOfInsects Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 02/04/15
Posts: 3646
Loc: California
That misplaced apostrophe is going to give me an aneurysm.
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#2946522 - 09/04/18 09:30 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: MathOfInsects]
J. Dan Offline
Bannination Free Since '08
10k Club

Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 12585
Loc: St. Louis, MO
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in the churchyard. A few days later, the town drunk was passing through the cemetery and heard a strange noise coming from the ground where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the Priest. The Priest bent down and put his ear to the grave, where he could hear some faint, unrecognizable music. Frightened, he ran and got the town magistrate. The magistrate arrived, put his ear to the ground and listened. After a while, he said "ah yes, that is Beethoven's 9th symphony playing backwards". He listened a while longer and said "There's the 8th symphony,and it's backwards as well. Most puzzling". So he kept listening "there's the 7th.....the 6th.....the 5th". Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had been gathering, "My fellow citizens, there is nothing to worry about. It is just Beethoven decomposing".


Edited by J. Dan (09/04/18 09:32 AM)
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Dan

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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#2947819 - 09/12/18 08:35 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: J. Dan]
Rod S Online   content
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 12/12/00
Posts: 3135
Loc: São Paulo, Brasil
Got this yesterday. Thought it was cute...

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Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Yamaha CS6x / P140 / Motif ES Rack / Akai MPK249 / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II
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American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760

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#2947822 - 09/12/18 09:08 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Rod S]
Wastrel Offline
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Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 2698
Loc: Los Angeles
OK. I know I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but what is the key signature with eight flats?
_________________________
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain

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#2947823 - 09/12/18 09:15 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Jazzman]
Synthoid Offline
10k Club

Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 10588
Loc: Pennsylvania, USA

_________________________
To stop the flow of music would be like the stopping of time itself, incredible and inconceivable.
-- Aaron Copland

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#2947826 - 09/12/18 09:19 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Wastrel]
Dave Bryce Administrator Offline
KCFFL Champ '14, '16
10k Club

Registered: 09/24/00
Posts: 19793
Loc: Thousand Oaks,CA,UNITED STATES
A lady's fridge breaks.

She calls the repair company. An older guy shows up. He walks up to the fridge and mutters, "Mmm-hmm - XJ-76B", and gives it a whack on the side. The fridge starts right up.

He turns to the lady and says, "There you go".

She says, "That's it? Cool! What do I owe you?" "

"$300", the repairman tells her.

"$300???", she exclaims. "All you did was hit it!"

"Oh, it was only $25 to hit it", replies the repairman. "The other $275 is for knowing where to hit it."

hitt grin

dB

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rockit ==> David Bryce MusicFunky Young Monks <==rawk


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#2947827 - 09/12/18 09:21 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Wastrel]
Math&Music Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 07/04/18
Posts: 154
Loc: Northern VA
Originally Posted By: Wastrel
OK. I know I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but what is the key signature with eight flats?

That would be Fb , also known as E smile


Edited by Math&Music (09/12/18 09:23 AM)
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Joe

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#2947848 - 09/12/18 10:24 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Math&Music]
Rod S Online   content
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 12/12/00
Posts: 3135
Loc: São Paulo, Brasil
Originally Posted By: Math&Music
Originally Posted By: Wastrel
OK. I know I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but what is the key signature with eight flats?

That would be Fb , also known as E smile

I had to think that one through when I first received. I initially thought it was a joke as I've never seen a double flat in a key signature.

I also thought it was a theoretical exercise, but apparently it has been used to notate some classical pieces.
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Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Yamaha CS6x / P140 / Motif ES Rack / Akai MPK249 / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II
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#2950698 - 09/29/18 10:10 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Jazzman]
Mighty Motif Max Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 12/14/16
Posts: 513
Loc: Northeastern MN, U.S.
You know which club the Hammonds hang out at?










The Rotary Club.
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#2952175 - 10/09/18 01:13 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Mighty Motif Max]
Rod S Online   content
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 12/12/00
Posts: 3135
Loc: São Paulo, Brasil
I thought this one hit close to home. HeadPop

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Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Yamaha CS6x / P140 / Motif ES Rack / Akai MPK249 / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II
MBP-LOGIC
American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760

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#2952180 - 10/09/18 01:41 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Rod S]
davedoerfler Offline
KCFF League Champion 2017
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 12/27/12
Posts: 7976
Loc: the swamp
Originally Posted By: Rod S
I thought this one hit close to home. HeadPop


Agreed.
The not funny part is for many of us, by the time we reach the 4th square towards the end of the day, our bodies and brain are fatigued, leaving creativity weakened. facepalm
_________________________
“Meaningless distraction drains you of the energy you should be placing into more serious things or using to simply enjoy the rewards of your labor.”
Bruce Springsteen
"I am guilty"
davedoerfler

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#2952399 - 10/10/18 01:00 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: davedoerfler]
Wastrel Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 2698
Loc: Los Angeles
For me it's
Wow what a cool idea for a song
I should get up and write it down
But if I get up now I'll never get back to sleep
I'll probably remember it in the morning.
FAIL
_________________________
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain

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#2952444 - 10/10/18 07:33 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: Math&Music]
Tom Williams Offline
Platinum Member

Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 1019
Loc: West Virginia
Originally Posted By: Math&Music
Originally Posted By: Wastrel
OK. I know I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but what is the key signature with eight flats?

That would be Fb , also known as E smile
I had it pegged as Db Minor, which I can imagine being a real result of legitimate writing.
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PC361, PX-5S, AX-Synth AX-Edge
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#2952472 - 10/11/18 02:15 AM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: The Real MC]
mauriziodececco Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 262
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: The Ghastly MC

I was married to a red blooded Sicilian and she pronounced it with a silent G, my brother insisted it was with a hard G. I said at least it isn't pronounced "nookie".


I wouldn't trust a sicilian accent :->.
Anyway, noway. It is not a soft G, it is not an hard G, is not nookie. It is just 'gnocchi'.

I mean, the phoneme AFAIK just doesn't exists in english or in french, so, just eat them and don't ask questions :->.

Maurizio
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#2952638 - 10/11/18 04:10 PM Re: OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others! [Re: mauriziodececco]
marino Offline
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Registered: 10/20/00
Posts: 8038
Loc: Rome, Italy
Originally Posted By: mauriziodececco
Originally Posted By: The Ghastly MC

I was married to a red blooded Sicilian and she pronounced it with a silent G, my brother insisted it was with a hard G. I said at least it isn't pronounced "nookie".


I wouldn't trust a sicilian accent :->.
Anyway, noway. It is not a soft G, it is not an hard G, is not nookie. It is just 'gnocchi'.

I mean, the phoneme AFAIK just doesn't exists in english or in french, so, just eat them and don't ask questions :->.

Maurizio

Confirmed.

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