Music Player Network
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
A few folks here are aware that my band recently (about 2 months ago) was forced to replace our bassist of about a year. He decided to join another band with major label dreams. While we were saddened to see him go, we bore him no ill will (honestly) and hoped he'd be happy with his new project. We auditioned new people and found someone we like. We moved on.

Now, two months later, we're very pleased with our new bassist (who we call #5, since he's our fifth bassist). The shows have been great, everyone seems to love him (especially us) and we're in a good place all 'round.

However, our ex bassist has started making waves. Apparently, he told his new band that he would be able to book them in the places where we play regularly. Since he never handled booking for us, he's not having much luck. In addition, he's been bothering my band's long-time friends and supporters to help him with booking and street team duties. Basically, he wants these folks to come to our shows and distribute his new band's demos and stickers. While he's certainly well within his rights to do this, this behavior seems kinda tacky to me. It's tasteless.

This turned out to be the tip of the iceberg.

Additionally, I also recently discovered that he had been attempting cyber sex with some of the under-age girls who regularly support us at all-ages shows. Apparently, some of these girls had crushes on him and would send him e-mails and instant messages. He regularly would reply to instant messages with requests for cyber sex, and when these largely bore no fruit, he ignored their e-mails and IMs. He even did disgusting stuff like e-mail pics of his penis to 15-year old girls. That's SO fucking repugant to me, and they all told me it was tiny as well. UGH! When he quit the band, these young ladies began getting e-mails requesting booking help from our hero, Mr. Bassman Zero. Luckily, most of these girls are smart enough to recognize that he's a two-faced piece of shit, so they haven't helped him.

Even more distressing... he apparently has been maligning me to our friends and supporters for many months... even when he was still in the band! He told folks that I see them as purely a means to make money and that I don't care about the individuals who support us... Obviously, this is far from true (we barely break even!!), but it's incredibly saddening to imagine the horribly mixed message that these kids were getting! These are the kids who I spend hours helping with school issues, counseling about their lives and generally trying to be a good role model... not to mention playing music for them! This guy basically rubbed his slimey mind all over these kids. I wanna puke.

So, since I'm good friends with most of our regular booking agents, a few of them have called me to ask about Mr. Bassman Zero's new band, since he's been pestering them for bookings using my name and exploiting the fact that he was in a band with me. While I prefer to take the high ground on such subjects, I certainly DON'T want to do anything to help this guy (or his band)now, and I definitely don't want to expose any more kids to his disgusting behavior. I have told these booking people that, in my opinion, he's a dirtbag, and his band isn't worth booking. I guess it worked, because he's having NO luck getting in the doors of these places. So guess what? He's pissed. He started posting nasty messages on my band's "fan site" message board, trying to rile me up. I won't play with him, though. I'm wayyyyy smarter than he is about this kind of stuff, but I have to say, this whole thing is VERY upsetting.

I was always nice to this guy and tried to make him feel welcome and important to the band. I did break his balls about cancelling rehearsals, because he did that all the time, and it pissed me off. Rather than stew about it, I told him flat out that it pissed me off and that I expected him to be more professional. I know I also demanded that he come to shows looking like a fucking professional, but he knew about my standards when he joined the band... and he said it was fine with him. Other than that stuff, I accepted him like a brother and lent him gear (which he managed to break or lose) and respected his abilities immensely. In spite of everything, I feel that he's a highly talented musician with a lot of potential, but I have a feeling he's destined to fail in the long run.

Sorry for the long-ass rant, but this has been getting to me.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Sound, Studio, and Stage Island
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 4,424
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 4,424
sounds like your describing an old drummer i used to know, went by "zeke"

almost to a "T" it is

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Damn, CMDN - there's no end to the fun you guys are having !!

My immediate thought was that we can't really control others, only ourselves. You've done a great job, and done the right thing with your bandmates and listeners.

It's great that so many see this guy for what he is. They are coming to you telling of his rudeness, and acknowledging your virtues. Focus on that - it shows that the high road is the most rewarding road.

You are right to not support him with booking agents and others. Who needs the closer contact ? Why let him bring his crap any closer (and what else would he try if you shared an event?).

It hurts to invest yourself in music, and find out somebody was slime even back then. Try to ignore it. When a member of our family caused grief on holiday after holiday, it got everyone upset, and (even though absent) got lots of attention. Then my wife (love this woman!) said we won't talk about that person anymore - we'll be thankful for the people that want to be with us. Of course we don't do that entirely, but the change in focus put our minds and hearts in a better place.

Tom


www.stoneflyrocks.com
Acoustic Color

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 18,989
W
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
W
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 18,989
That is a terrible situation. I guess you know that guy could get busted for what he's doing online, but the first thing I ever do with ANYONE I have a disagreement with is try to talk to them, just so they know how I feel. I think that is imperative. Otherwise they'll come back later and go "well you didn't say that". In this situation I would also record what is said. Buy the smallest minidisc recorder and mic you can find and document the situation. I'm serious. I would confront the guy. What he is doing is wrong. He sounds like a flake anyway and will probably back off. Worse comes to worse I'll come up there or send some people to have a few words with the man.

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Yeah Tom... we're having big fun with this jackass. Thanks for your support. I think we're gonna be fine.

You're quite right, we can't control the actions of others. I don't worry about the things I can't control. I just tell the truth and let this guy choke on his lies. I think people who know both of us (me and the Zero) can easily see who is sincere and who is a phony. Nonetheless, it's kind of heartbreaking to see how trashy this guy is/was/will be about things.

Wewus... Yeah, it's a sucky situation. The thing is, everything we have heard/experienced is technically hearsay, since nobody has any hard evidence of his behavior... yet. So if I call him on it, he'll just say I'm crazy or trying to slander him. He'd probably act like he doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about and pretend to be my buddy. Those are the kind of games he plays. I feel confident that he will eventually ruin his band with his crappy behavior, so I have decided to take the high road and let him say what he wants without reprisals from me. He'll dig his own grave with his hypocrisy.

BTW, #5 (the new bassist in our band) has not taken this situation as well as I have. He's a full-blooded Sicilian, and when he found out about Mr. Bassman Zero's behavior, he just wanted to go break his neck. See, #5 doesn't go for that shit. To him, this is a matter of "respect." I'm not kidding... he's ready to see that Mr. Bassman Zero "sleeps with the fishes," so to speak. I convinced #5 to chill out. However, he's now talking to some of the kids Mr. Zero abused online and is gathering evidence (like IM convos, his dick pics, etc) so that he can be sure these things wind up in the hands of Mr. Zero's exceedingly jealous, clingy girlfriend. Then the fun will really begin. That's probably even more vicious than having The Wewus "talk" to him... but I thank you for the offer, my brother. More details to come as the plot thickens.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 18,989
W
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
W
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 18,989
A'ight Eric: You handle it, just don't let it go too far. The guy has already done some damage. I really do believe in confronting people. Sometimes that's all the warning they need. The guy might just need somebody to SNAP him out of his dream.

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 15,398
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 15,398
Wow Erik... that sucks. I really feel for ya, knowing quite well how much one twisted person can really fuck things up for everybody for a long time to come.

And I know exactly what you mean about him being "slippery" when confronted, too. I'm sure if you just "talk" to him, like you say, he'll weasel out of it somehow.

I hate to say it but I think your new bassist has the right idea. I have never, ever advocated revenge, I've always thought it's better just to ignore someone like that and let them hang themselves, and move on, thus depriving them of the attention they're obviously seeking. But, I've found that approach doesn't work with every type of personality. There are some people who are hell bent on destructive behavior, and who WILL continue to fuck things up as long as they can get away with it. As long as you are seen as somebody who takes the high road, they'll take advantage of that. So the ONLY way to deal with such a person is to make them pay, make them suffer very direct consequences for their actions. Collecting the evidence and showing it to the girlfriend is a good start.

I hate it that there are people like this in the world, and it took my naive ass years to realize they exist because, ya know, from your perspective or mine, what the hell would cause somebody to do that? But, they do, so we gotta learn to defend ourselves against them or else, like you said, they'll destroy everything that's good about what you've worked for.

Good luck dude. I know what you're going through. \:\(

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,083
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,083
I, too feel some of your pain. Some years ago we fired our front man largely because he was using our gigs and our name to actively promote his "side" project. After we fired him, he fucked up a number of our regular gigs by bad mouthing us. He ended up pissing off the entire local music community by undercutting everybody and bringing down the pay of all the bands in the area. I don't feel so bad for myself because I'm basically a weekend warrior, but the people who play for a living got screwed. He finally went away after the club owners realized that he wasn't all that he claimed. Our situation wasn't nearly as extreme as yours, however. Your guy has some serious issues to confront. In the short run, it really sucks but in the longer term, he will inevitably hang himself. Good luck and hang in there.

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 341
Senior Member
Offline
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 341
I have gone through former Band Members trouble making attempts, more times then I can count. Most of the time, their efforts just turn out to be laughable and amount to nothing..They can't get my fired or ruin my reputation so they resort to Name slagging etc to other people we all mutually know and talk to. This usually only serves to make them look more like a fool then they already do, to everyone else involved. However in an extreme case, I would not hesitate to take care of the situation in a more direct way. I have had to resort to the more extreme a few times....Never let anyone get over on you or it will become a pattern for your life. \:\)


Sean Michael Mormelo
http://www.seanmmormelo.com
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
Sorry to hear about your problems with Mr. Zero, Erik. I've been in a band with a total psychopath myself, and it's no fun, even after you kick his ass out of the band. The psycho of whom I speak was a drummer who thought it was appropriate to throw a stick at me in the heat of an argument. Uh, no. Sorry, dude. Maybe, if he were Omar Hakim or something, I would have given him a second chance. Nah.

So, Mr. Zero seems like a dangerous guy, but mostly dangerous to himself. It sounds like he is in a downward spiral, and is trying to take you out with him. I think you are very noble to take the high road and ignore him. However, I also tend to agree with Wewus and Lee. I think some confrontational action needs to be taken, and probably sooner rather than later. It's kinda reassuring to hear that #5 is a tough Italian guy; that might come in handy. Zero doesn't happen to have violent tendencies, does he? I certainly hope not. Anyway, I do think that maybe the guy should be intimidated into acting like a respectable human being, whether it's by exposing his actions to his girlfriend, or going with some peeps to have a "conversation" with him. If I lived a little closer, I'd drive up there with Wewus to help set things straight. Hell, you could even threaten to expose his online activities with underage girls to the authorities. But it sounds like ignoring him is just making him even angrier. I don't know.

Good luck dealing with this goof, and keep us posted.

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Wewus, et al... I'd seriously talk to this guy if I thought it would make an impression on him and help the situation, but Mr. Zero is the kind of guy who finds a way to be the innocent victim in virtually every messed-up situation. This is the same guy who admits to adopting a sort of burnt out and dumb persona so that everyone thinks he's basically sort of a lovable, undependable stoner guy that they shouldn't expect to be particularly capable. This allows him to dodge responsibilities all the time. In reality, he's sharp as a tack and simply a self-serving dickhead with his own comfort ranking highest on his list of concerns. Talking to him would be like talking to a dumpster. I don't see the point in bothering. On the plus side, Mr. Zero is definitely not violent... he's big, but not tough. He IS litigious, though, so nobody directly involved with the band is gonna put their hands on him.

Lee, you're probably right. That's why I'm also talking to a few kids about the situation. In fact, one young lady told me that Mr. Zero would probably try to cyber her if she unblocked his screen name. I told her if that happened, she should save the conversation and any accompanying pics. Mr. Zero's g/f is VERY jealous, but he's cheated on her MANY times without her knowledge. That's mainly because she lives a good 20 or so miles from him. Now, I've seen her flip out over really innocent stuff like pics of him with his arm around a young female friend's shoulders after a show. She wouldn't talk to him for a week after seeing one of our tour videos, which included Mr. Zero simply talking to a few women in a bar. If she finds out about these online indiscretions, she'll make his life HELL. Even if she's clever enough to realize that an IM convo can be faked, she'll definitely recognize pics of her poorly endowed b/f's wang in a second. I think this will go a long way to make him pretty miserable.

#5 has other ideas for revenge that aren't so complex or distant... he has some rather large friends who would be happy to attend one of Mr. Zero's new band's gigs and "helping" them offstage during their set. He also mentioned something about Mr. Zero's vehicle and blunt instruments, quick-hardening epoxy and Mr. Zero's front door and someone's fist meeting Mr. Zero's face intimately and repeatedly. Like I said, he's Sicilian. He's also from New Jersey, if that means anything to you. These actions would, of course, be untraceable to us and completely unsanctioned by our administration, as it were.

Personally, I don't want to see any of that stuff happen, because, while I am not a particularly "Zen" person, I don't like the idea of creating more bad energy to battle something negative.

We'll see how things pan out. On the plus side, it's good to see that the booking people and supporters I've known all these years respect me and our relationship enough to consult me on this subject before deciding on a course of action.

Mr. Zero is SO dumb! If he had asked me, I would have helped him get shows and given his band a ringing endorsement. It's sad, really, because, in spite of everything, I DO think his band is really excellent, and he's probably great with them. The other guys in that band are in for a really rude awakening when he shows them his true colors, and that's a real shame, because I know they're basically good guys.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 13,114
D
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
D
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 13,114
Sounds like a real sick-wad. Ask the parents of the tormented girls to forward some of his kinky emails to the authorities.


The Black Knight always triumphs!
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
P
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
P
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
Quote:
You're quite right, we can't control the actions of others.
Well, you can, but it takes some work. Take a peek at Hitler and Mussolini, Stalin even. Oh, shit, even, on our doorstep, Saddam Hussein (So Damn In Sane).

Its happened before, so if you want to take a totalitarian approach, it'll work. And I thought bassists were the good, dependable, laid-back, don't want to hurt nobody type. I know I be dat way.

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,720
Platinum Member
Offline
Platinum Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,720
Man, that is the saddest band story I have heard in a long time. CMDN I hope that situation really improves. I'm sure Wewus wouldn't mind giving the guy a little southern hospitality so to speak. Heck even I'd come out of retirement for that!


RobT

Famous Musical Quotes: "I would rather play Chiquita Banana and have my swimming pool than play Bach and starve" - Xavier Cugat
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 534
Gold Member
Offline
Gold Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 534
I suppose chopping the thumb and forefinger off of this asswipe's fretting hand is out of the question?

Note to the literal minded: I'm just kidding.


Signatures can appear at the bottom of your posts. This option may be disabled by the message board administrators at any time, however. You may use UBB Code in your signature, but not HTML. UBB Code Images are permitted.
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,451
Rim Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,451
Erik,

First off, you should be very thankful that Zero is no longer in your band b/c he would've shown his true colors sooner or later. He would've been trouble down the road.

Secondly, I think it is a good idea to collect evidence of his cyber sex with under age girls but not for revenge. You probably should notify the authorities to protect those girls. The police may not do anything now but hopefully, will keep a close eye on his online activities. Think of all those underage girls and God forbid, Zero takes the it to the next level. This is more of a law issue than a band one.

Otherwise, ignore Zero as much as you can. My personal feeling is, any action towards him would be fruitless because it sounds like he'll have no problem taking a lower road than you probably are willing. Life's too short to waste your time on him.

- Rim

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Thanks again for the support, folks. I'm seriously heartened to have you guys as advisors.

Dan... You're right. He's a real sick bastard. I just got a call from another girl who told me Mr. Zero called her cell at 3am, stoned out of his mind and masturbating. Ugh... She said the only reason she didn't call the cops was that she didn't wanna fuck up things for the band or (get this) make me upset! I told her that I wouldn't have been upset, and that if ANYONE does that crap to her again, tell EVERYONE she can so that they are stopped for good.

Patrick... the problem with this tool is that he's not just a bassist. He's actaully a very talented multi-instrumentalist who happens to play bass in most of his bands. Maybe that's why he's such an ass... he's got the combined ego of everyone in a rock band.

Alan... Ya know, if #5 was only Japanese instead of Italian, that Yakuza-style revenge idea would probably be possible.

I wanted to mention something else this asswipe did while he was in the band... he called me once to cancel rehearsal so he could go out with his g/f, and I started giving him a hassle, basically telling him that cancelling a rehearsal at the last minute was lame, and that I expected him to be more professional in the future. After all, the rehearsal was planned, but dinner with his g/f wasn't. I wasn't even raising my voice, but he hung up on me. That really pissed me off, so I called him back. He didn't answer the phone, so I tore into him on his answering machine, telling him that he needed to grow up and learn how to deal with interpersonal issues like an adult rather than running from the situation like a dumb kid and hiding behind his answering machine. I told him that if he couldn't deal with a little conflict based on a situation HE created, he really had bigger issues to handle than just being unprofessional. I told him the reason this was unacceptable was that I wanted this band to be as good as possible, and that we'd never get REALLY good unless we spent time working on stuff. I told him that missing rehearsals cuts a bands creative hamstrings and ruins morale. I also told him that he shouldn't expect me to run around and call everyone for him when he couldn't make it to rehearsal. I then left everyone's number for him so he could call around.

He called me back later and apologized, but the rehearsal was still cancelled. I got over it, but he brought something along to the next rehearsal.... it was a CDR of the message I left on his answering machine that he had put to music with his DAW and a keyboard. I tried to laugh it off like "OK, he's breaking my balls for being the band rehearsal Nazi," but I really felt kind of hurt. See what I mean about him being smart? If I gave him a hard time about that, I'd look like someone who can't take a little ribbing. He knew I'd be hurt but be unable to make an issue of it. ACK. I can't believe I put up with that shit for so long.

Riffing... you are right. We are VERY thankful that #5 replaced Zero, and our chemistry has never been better. #5 has frequently mentioned that he can't believe how good we were in spite of Zero's behavior. Now that I think about it, I can't believe it, either.

Crap. I wrote another rant. I'm sorry, guys. He really did some psychic damage to this generally mild-mannered, dreadlocked fellow.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
MAN! I can't BELIEVE that shit he pulled with the answering machine message! That would've stirred me to no end! How freakin' manipulative can a weasel GET???

Maybe next time you see this guy, you should imagine that his face is a glass panel in the door of a city bus!!!*

*Silly, inside joke! \:D

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,321
Platinum Member
Offline
Platinum Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,321
Woah, Erik, I had no idea this shit was going on. Atleast, you've got a great bassist in #5, and your band hasn't suffered(besides the mental anguish) from this joker. He seemed like an alright dude when I met him. Damn, this just sucks.

Well, whenever you're playing in the area let me know. I would love to hear the new chemistry. BTW, a couple of weekends ago a brother band of mine, "Sligo" was playing at your Pontiac Grille in Philly. We went up there to support them, it was cool. Next time, I'm up that way, I'll be sure to hit you up.

Take care bro,

Lincoln Ross
Dead Black Jedis


"All conditioned things are impermanent. Work out your own salvation with diligence."

The Buddha's Last Words

R.I.P. RobT
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 8,149
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 8,149
Erik, how were those emails initiated? If it was via his own personal email no problem, but if it were through an "Email the Band" link on your band's website (assuming you have one) I'd be concerned about "aiding and abetting" some illegal shit. If that's the case I'd talk to a lawyer if I were you.

I'd also mail explanations to all the club owners and even fans (if you have a mailing list) explaining that you two have parted ways, etc and that you're not responsible for his actions anymore. This IS one of the scarier and disgusting stories I've heard in awhile, please keep us posted. \:\(


Botch
"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will
http://www.puddlestone.net
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Yo Bunny... ya know... you might be onto something. I think I blocked that answering machine message thing out of my memory for a while because it was kind of painful to hear my own voice on that CDR...

Jedi... I know... Zero comes off like a pretty nice, funny guy when you meet him. He's really ougoing and friendly. Too bad it's phony. Like you said, we're WAY better off without this jackass in our lives.

The Pontiac... AH. That's our home base here in Philly. We play there about every 6 weeks or so. Playing that place is like playing in my living room. Everyine knows us, and we know the room like the back of our hands. Hope your buddy had a good show there.

I'll definitely let you know when we hit B-more or DC again. Our performances have gotten WAY more focused since #5 came around. I think you'll like him. He's a real down-to-earth guy, and so are you.

Botch...
Luckily, it appears that his activities took place primarily through AIM and his own e-mail addy, since all the band e-mail is sent to my AOL account. He didn't have access to the web site info or my AOL account, so I don't think the band could get into any trouble. And everyone was made aware of Zero's departure when it happened via our band e-mail list. So I think we're covered.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 15,398
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 15,398
Oh boy, that answering machine business is indeed REALLY manipulative. And boy I've been there too - where somebody pulls that "you'll look bad if you try to point out how fucked this is" kind of mind game. Man, that's the worst.

I don't think that doing the "anonymous and untraceable acts of revenge" thing is really a good idea. The best revenge could be traced directly back to his own actions - such as the "telling his girlfriend about the cyber sex" thing. I don't know that simply beating the crap out of the guy or epoxying his door shut, would really have a lasting effect, especially if he can't connect it directly with what he did.

In addition to the "telling the girlfriend" thing, maybe some of your fans and your club owner friends could do something to reinforce the fact that bad mouthing you was a really unwise career move. Know what I mean? If there is any doubt in his mind as to why he's not getting any gigs or support for his new band, he oughta be clued in. \:D

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 336
Senior Member
Offline
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 336
CMDN, man this is ridiculous.

But I agree with Tom when he encouraged you to take the high road. When people start throwing stones at you, it generally means that you've risen above them and are now a better and easier target.

But I am glad that you are taking the right attitude, being a victor instead of the victim. Don't let his bad behavior dictate what you will do and say. But, the cover your behind advice was worthy of consideration.

What goes around, comes around, or something like that. Hang in there, dude, it will all come out in the wash. (did I use enough cliches?)

Take it easy.....


I'm trying to think but nuthin' happens....
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
P
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
P
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
Quote:
Originally posted by CMDN:
Patrick... the problem with this tool is that he's not just a bassist. He's actaully a very talented multi-instrumentalist who happens to play bass in most of his bands. Maybe that's why he's such an ass... he's got the combined ego of everyone in a rock band.
{GASP!!!}

A disgrace! He must be shot and burned at the stake for disgracing the bass! No one should torture the instrument of all instruments by playing many lower instruments!

(Bring me the tar and feathers!)

We are going to have a roasting tonight, but not the roasting this man is accustomed to! We will roast him upon an open FIRE! He will scream and squirm until his wee little head bursts!

Wait, I'm on the wrong forum \:D . Thought I was somewhere else . Anyway, kill him for what he's worth. Or you could get his girlfriend to go Bobbitt for a day! Wait, no, I would never wish that ill upon another of the male species. I can feel the pain. Hope you can get things resolved. I used to live in New Orleans, how southern of a hospitality is that (grinning very very largely \:D )? I could introduce him to the Dukes. They'd love his ass.

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Hahah...
Yeah, that shit with the answering machine message was a low one. He used play that for other people in front of me just to watch me squirm. That's the kinda guy he is. Me, being a big dummy, let him get away with it and tried to laugh it off. #5 says he woulda just punched him in the jaw. I bet everyone is now picturing #5 as a huge guy wearing a gold chain and a aqua running suit, sitting on a plastic-covered couch and holding a wooden baseball bat. Not quite, but I know he'd be happy to see Zero silenced in some way. Maybe he'll cut the head off of Zero's bass and stick it under his pillow?

Guys, believe me, the "random untraceable violent" solution isn't anything we're seriously considering. Honestly, I just want this guy to go away or something. I don't have the energy for this nonsense. I'm a fucking adult. I own a home. I have a wife and a job. All I wanna do is play and record music for the people who wanna hear it. This high school bullshit is tired.

When I got home last night, my AIM was on fire... all these kids were hitting me up and asking what the hell was up w/Zero. He's apparently been putting in overtime to sour their impressions of me. Of course, they mainly seem to just be confused about his activities and not really believing him. He's really fucking up -- he's telling people who run in the same circles different stories. However, this crap is very draining.

I spoke to one of the girls he has regularly bothered last night (she's 16), and she told me something disturbing. He told her he was gonna get a motel room in her town and that he wanted her to stay with him there when he came to visit. Of course, she's not interested, and she said that made her uncomfortable. I told her she could tell the police, and he'd get arrested. She didn't want to do that. I let her know his behavior is really fucked and that she didn't have to put up with it. She still didn't want to do that. So I played my trump card... This sounds bad, but I know this girl has some kind of crush on me, so I told her that if she trusted me and valued me as a friend, she'd go RIGHT to the police if he ever tried any crap like this again. I told her that I was speaking as a person who cares about her safety and as a person with no ulterior motives for her. She knows I'm married and have no designs on her, so I think I managed to get the message through to her. This guy is really making me sick. It's disgusting. I mean, YES, these young girls are absolutely gorgeous, but they're fucking KIDS, for God's sake. While I can appreciate that they're attractive, etc, I can't imagine taking advantage of their innocent nature, especially at my age. I'm just flattered that they don't think of me as ancient and decrepit.

Anyway... It would also appear the Zero is playing "victim" to the kids who call him on his bullshit... he's saying that I'm spreading rumors and lies about him and "sewing the seeds of hate" to ruin his rep. He's telling them that they "don't really know me" at all, and that they need to watch out for me. I wonder what kind of evil stuff I'm supposedly doing? I know he's been telling folks that I have had sex with two women at a time in our new van... HAHAH! Don't I WISH! Luckily, the women he's talking about found out and laughed it off. I also told my wife that he's been spreading this rumor. I'm lucky she's a smart woman who doesn't believe everything she hears. Jeez! Is this guy good or what?

I'm still on the high road... but the going is getting a little rocky.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
P
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
P
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,386
Yeah, I hear ya on the high school childish violence path, It's very high school.

(Did you know I run the Mafia? No, well, here's my card, give me a call.)

Nah, but you're handling this properly. I know back in the day I was tortured by other people for one reason or another, but I learned to ignore them and be the better man. You're doing the same. I know that if you ignore it, it might not necessarily go away, but take sort of a passive resistance approach. Don't fight too much over it, but definitely don't let him get your other side. Just play it straight, and hopefully one of these girls will either go to the cops or to Zero's girlfriend (now that's gonna be fun. --> what he's gonna look like after this is over).

This guy is obviously a very sick, perverted mofo. I hope someone brings this guy down, with whatever means necessary, for what little he's worth.

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,531
Platinum Member
Offline
Platinum Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,531
This situation seems out of control... You're entire band's rep is getting slagged through the mud for no reason... You, as a band, need to corner this guy and have a serious heart to heart... possibly alerting his new band to his f*ked behavior as well cause they're gonna get hurt too.
I'd tell him if you hear one more peep out of him, you've got a number of underage girls lined up and ready to slag his ass through the court system and send him to prison...

If all else fails, release #5 on his ass and make sure that the only witnesses are your bandmates.


Kris
My Band: http://www.fullblackout.com UPDATED!!! Fairly regularly these days...

http://www.logcabinmusic.com updated 11/9/04
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Geez.

Tell these girls to tell their parents. I'd be all over this like white on rice if my daughter showed me something like that motel thing. It's not even subtle !!

The phone message thing. If that happened to somebody in my band (A plays a tape of B for me to hear), I'd tell him to shut that shit off and get back to work and remember we're a band. didn't the other guys bust him on that?

Turn his bad band behavior into a song (not the internet girl stuff). That way you can slam him everytime you play!!

Glad to hear your wife is OK - keep showing her stuff so there are no surprises...

Hang in dude.

dBunny, I also thought of the bus window !!

Tom


www.stoneflyrocks.com
Acoustic Color

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 13,526
Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Capasso:
Turn his bad band behavior into a song (not the internet girl stuff). That way you can slam him everytime you play!!
That's classic. You gotta do it. Reminds me of something the band NOFX would do. Hilarious! Right on, Tom.

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 4,070
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 4,070
Quote:
Originally posted by dBunny:
Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Capasso:
Turn his bad band behavior into a song (not the internet girl stuff). That way you can slam him everytime you play!!
That's classic. You gotta do it. Reminds me of something the band NOFX would do. Hilarious! Right on, Tom.
Yeah, that would be the ULTIMATE revenge!

You've already got the chorus to the song...

The title of this thread!

Bitter Bassist Brings Bull...

I can hear the crowd singing along now...

guitplayer


I'm still "guitplayer"!
Check out my music if you like...

http://www.michaelsaulnier.com
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Quote:
Originally posted by guitplayer:

You've already got the chorus to the song...

The title of this thread!

Bitter Bassist Brings Bull...

I can hear the crowd singing along now...

guitplayer
Let's add a big "BAHH"

Start the refrain, sorta that shout-anthem feel

Am
"Life in bands can really suck"
Bm7
"Try your best without no luck" (force the double negative to be cool)
Am
"Here's our latest big news flash"

Sing/scream

D
"Bitter Bassist"

E
"Brings Bull"

F
"Bahh"

(OK, I don't write much - it just came to me while I was sitting here...)

Tom


www.stoneflyrocks.com
Acoustic Color

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,703
Hhahah... I'm way ahead of you guys.

I don't know if these girls will tell their parents or not, but I have recommended this course of action. I doubt if they will, and if they do, the evidence would be pretty easy to disprove. After all, most stuff found on the Internet can be faked. I hate to say it, but it looks like he's basically going to get away with this for the most part. I still think his g/f will find this interesting, though.

BTW, Zero played that answering machine message for EVERYONE we met -- especially in my presence. It was my own fault for trying to act like it didn't bother me at first. This set a precedent for him to play it all the time. At one point, he wanted to use it as an intro to our set, but I told him that was a little too much and that it was too boring to be an intro.

As for the song... I'm on it. Since I usually try to focus on the positive side of things, I took the experience and gleaned what I could from it. I look at it this way:
1. He hasn't been able to hurt the band.
2. We're stronger than ever.
3. Our supporters are there for us.

The song is called "Unbreakable," and it's dedicated to Zero. This is a taste:

Verse:
We move forward/We're not stepping back
No holes in this armor/We can't be cracked
Stronger than time/This can't be crushed
The worthless detractors/Lie in our dust
Forget the haters/Remember the love
We're bound together/We're rising above

Chorus:
Unbreakable
Unstoppable
Invincible
Act like you know, bitch, act like you know.

There are more verses, but you get the picture.

We finished writing the arrangement and riffs on Monday. It's the first thing we've completed with #5. Musically, it's a pretty fucking brutal song, but lyrically, I think it sends a positive message.


\m/
Erik
"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--Sun Tzu
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,823
CMDN,

Well, maybe I'll see what I can make out of that stuff I started. Yours looks great - it's therapeutic to do that song. Nice job.

Hey dBunny - obviously the new song was NOT inspired by bus doors....

Tom


www.stoneflyrocks.com
Acoustic Color

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Anderton 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5